My dear dad

Help ! I lost my dad suddenly 4 days ago,we were very close and i was his carer,he passed away unexpectantly,and on exactly the same date as my Mom. I feel so alone,i cannot sleep,i feel as if i have been hit hard on the head with a spade,i cannot feel my limbs,my heart pounds in my chest,i feel dread and butterflies in my tummy. He was a huge part of my life and we spent alot of time together,it doesnt feel real.

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So sorry for your loss. Its such early days for you and everything is raw and overwhelming. Im not sleeping either and my heart is broken :broken_heart: we are all in this awful boat that feels like its sinking and there’s nothing we can do. Im not going to say things like time heals because it doesnt or it will get better . All i can say is you will learn to live with the pain and adapt to a new sort of life but its bloody hard mate. hope you can get some peace and sleep . Sending a big hug to you. Sorry i cant be more helpful.

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Thankyou so very much,your words are of comfort to me,i went to my local supermarket today and didnt feel it may be an issue,but when i was in there i felt overwhelmed with so many people around me,and utter dread in my stomach,i just wanted to be alone again,i’ve never experienced such a feeling before-of too many people and just wanting life to halt.

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Hi CR73,

I’m sorry for the loss of your father.

I lost my father in November shortly after a cancer diagnosis and I relate to the symptoms you describe. My dad was my best friend and I saw him several times a day. I cared for him in the weeks leading up to his passing and it feels like he was just taken away. There is often a dull feeling in my head since it happened.

It’s a maddening experience when you are going through trauma to see people all around who seem to not have a care in the world. I am sure they do but it is an incredibly lonely experience. I am keeping busy and trying to still do everyday tasks but life has lost its sparkle for me. Nothing feels like it has much purpose anymore.

Sending best wishes. X

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Hi katherine
Thanks for the reply,i sympathise with your loss of your dad,and i definitely can relate to it. My dads death was sudden and unexpected,i am still in shock and it doesnt feel real 11 days later. I went to his house again today,i am trying to rehome his pet cat atm,and i am still taking care of his house and garden like i always did.
I burst into tears at his house,i just want him back. Sometimes the more i experience life,the more i dont like it.

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Hi CR73,

Thank you.

It’s so difficult. My dad’s death was also very sudden. We knew that my dad’s cancer wasnt curable but we never even got to see an oncologist before he passed away. Dad seemed to deteriorate as soon as he got the news. I wonder if he didn’t want us to see him suffer for a long period of time. I feel like I have many unanswered questions about how or why it happened and I don’t think I’ll ever get any answers. It’s very confusing.

I also found it very difficult being in my parents house after my dad passed away. I still have my mum but my dad was such a force and someone I loved to see and it just feels empty without him. It’s all very sad.

Take care
X

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I had the same thing today :frowning: xxx

Hi Pippa,

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Sending love.
Xx

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