My dearest Grandpa

I really feel at a loss. I lost my Grandpa aged 18. He was a quiet mold mannered unassuming man who spoke little unlike his granddaughter. He had manic depression for around 5 years before he died and was very ill. I was told at the time to stop crying by my father as my mother whose father it was and my brother who was only 16 were coping well. I genuinely feel I will never process this grief as I didn’t have the option at the time. I wish I had never listened to him. I allow myself to feel the feelings of grief now but they are still so all consuming. Any advice gratefully received

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandpa, @Alienalert, and that you didn’t get the care and support you needed when he died. It’s understandable that you’re feeling this way when you weren’t allowed to grieve at the time.

Hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I wanted to ask if you had considered grief counselling? It can give you a space to talk about your grief and begin to process it.

We offer free counselling sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

I know that some of our members have also found journaling to be helpful as well. We have some tools on our Grief Guide self-help website that you might want to look at.

I really hope you find the community to be a support to you, too.

Take care - you are not alone.