My first attempt

My dear wife of almost 53 years died 3 months ago, 6 weeks after diagnosis with cancer. She was my life. So much more than I ever thought I now realise. We did so much together and so did not form that many close friends.
Our shared interests of archery and boating have largely disappeared now. I am so far unable to attend the club as there are so many memories there. The boat which was part of our many happy years on the waterways had to be sold.
On my own in front of TV , I sometimes dose and when waking am initially surprised there is no comment. Then again realise that she is not there.
I did not need to say much. When I did, she would tell me that she knew what I was about to say.
When this happened I thought that the only way to ease the loneliness would be to join some local activity group, but due to Covid this has not been possible.
I am often assured that things will get better and that I will learn to live with the loss eventually. The reality of losing someone so dear and so loved is so awful for me, but when I see what others have had to endure, it seems selfish to feel so desolate.

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@marooned hi I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife I lost my partner pauline in April and its not selfish we all feel desolate lonely heartbroken you are going through the worse loss of your life and our life’s are so different now not what we would have chosen I hope you find some moments of peace keep posting on here you will find support from people who understand we all try to help eachother as best as we can stay safe and take care sending hugs x

Thank you for responding. I am rather clueless about procedure. Age and despair are against me. It is good to have the support of people with similar experiences. So many seem so much worse off.

@marooned hi we are all in so much pain and despair from our losses and heartbreak but we really do support eachother this site has been a lifeline for me and to be honest I have got more support on here than I have from family and friends my thoughts are with you take care

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You aren’t selfish, we all think our own experience is the worst, which it is to us xx

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