My first birthday without him

Sitting here crying thinking of how good it was this time last year and what my Nigel did for me now sitting here alone with a bottle of red he died unexpectedly last November been together 21 years my grief seems to be getting worse I’ve tried really hard

So sorry you are alone on your birthday. It’s impossible trying to reconcile life today with what we had. My husband also died suddenly last November. My first birthday without him was only three weeks after he had died and it passed me by. I understand also how grief seems to grow in intensity particularly on what would have been a special day. We get through somehow but we don’t know how.
I am thinking of you. Take care

My partner Gordon died suddenly in April also together for 21 years. Its my 50th in a couple of weeks. We should have been going out to celebrate but I too will be alone. I don’t even want to acknowledge the day.xx

Birthdays, anniversarys, christmas are all going to be so hard without our loved one and I too dread these dates and feel the pressure build up as they get closer. Im sorry I don’t have any solutions to how to make these days better but just want to say hello x

Thank you for all that replied thinking of you all

LDMN.It is my birthday too.I saw my husband for the last time in the funeral parlour 2 yrs ago to this day. Last year I cried all day because he was always like a big kid on my birthday and insisted I open his card first.This year it has rained all day and I have been out with my friend.I am a little calmer inside.I have not cried but feel I am faking it all.I really don’t care about birthdays or Christmas anymore but at least things have not been quite as raw this year. I can sit alone in my house now and not feel like screaming to get out.Everyone tells me how strong I am and tell me I am coping so well but they have no idea how lonely my life feels without Ron.His funeral was on 8th October so even that is so near my birthday. I just hope it gets easier with time.x

Thanks for your reply I know what you mean by faking it my Nigel was a big kid also and gave me the best birthday ever last year on my 50th so hard I booked this week of work as I knew i would not not be in a good place this week to deal with clients

I know exactly how you feel.Ron"s funeral was held on the 8th October.Again sonear my birthday. Next will be his birthday and then Christmas which is the worst for me because my house was always so busy and Ron would muck in with preparing dinner. Last Christmas was so lonely and dark.I just wanted to sleep it out. The nights are drawing in which makes the loneliness even worse although I have faced everything once over now and am used to it.Things do improve though as time passes I promise you.Take care.