so today is my 35th birthday, i woke up feeling more broken, alone, and in the worst pain.
waking up a widow, without shaun here always making a fuss and showering me with love 
my first birthday without you, since losing you 11 weeks ago.
i have the worst pain today i really feel i can’t carry on with this much longer… how am i going to do the rest of my life without him?
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oh @Nori i will be thinking of your son on sunday 
how did you find your counselling session?
i think your idea is brilliant, you have to do what’s right for you and the boys 
my mum is spending xmas with us and i just think we will probably just drift through the day up and down with emotions xx
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It’s my birthday tomorrow 25th I really don’t want to celebrate I am going for a meal with my family and friends I am so dreading it x
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My birthday is looming ahead, my first since my husband died, the prospect is unbearable how do you cope, where is my lovely card and thoughtful gift? I loved that he had spent time thinking of something special for me. I still have last years card on my dressing table, I think it will be there for a long time. Happy birthday to anyone who has one coming up xx
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I lost my wife in September only 7 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. It’s my birthday on the 29th and I just don’t know how I’m going cope. Absolutely dreading it.
All alone with my grief. 
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@Steve59 i know exactly how you feel, and have no idea what to say, they say the first is always going to be really hard, I guess we have a lot of firsts to get through. I will wish you a happy birthday, I know that won’t really help but sending best wishes anyway xx
Thank you for your response and birthday wishes. It’s going to be a tough period. Birthday Christmas and winter. It helps to be on here where we can relate to and engage with people in similar situations.
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My first birthday alone came and went. I wanted it to just slide by unnoticed as I didn’t want to commemorate or celebrate. A couple of my friends made me a cake which was nice and made the day manageable.
You will get through it. You got through the last 11 weeks, and have the strength to get through this day as well. It’s crap I now, but the intensity of the pain will pass.
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It’s my first birthday today I feel numb but trying for my family who have been amazing xx
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@Debbie25 hi, I would say “happy birthday “ but I know that is just hollow words, but I am thinking of you and I hope you have some happier memories of previous birthdays to look back on. Be kind to yourself, sending lots of love xx
Ps it’s my first one alone on 8th, I feel your grief x
thank you so much xx
@Scarl34 i think I understand, I’ve just driven home with tears, I think we are getting very weary of trying to be strong and I don’t know about you but I’m very tired and heartbroken 
Let’s hope tomorrow eases a bit, the sun is lovely here today, small bonus. Please take care xx
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@Kathy6 yes i am absolutely exhausted and broken just can’t function today at all!!
sending you lots of hugs x.
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Hardest day ever my husband treated me like his queen. He loved me so much and me him cruel is the only word x
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@Scarl34 Hi, how did the weekend go for you all, I was pretty sad been doing sone sorting out and it’s very hard. All the best for next week x
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Having had my first birthday without my beloved earlier this month, l now find myself half an hour into what would have been his 66th birthday. He has been gone 8 months now and l miss him so very much. Spent part of today with two of my stepsons and their families which was lovely - l know he would be pleased we are seeing each other regularly, but how l wished he was there with us. Still feels like l am only living half a life, for all l am working, getting out and about, even going off abroad on my own. I’m just going through the motions, and still in bits inside.
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