My first Xmas without Leah

Losing a child
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Hi everyone hope you are all as well as can be expected I was wondering if anyone has thought about Xmas I’m really getting anxious about it as Nov they are erecting my daughter s new headstone and having a little ceremony for them Katie passed some years ago but this is my first Xmas without Leah in totally devastated and so distraught how do you cope at Xmas. Katie was a Xmas baby it just brings back so much heartache. They are buried together which is some comfort. Shellyanne

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Dear Shelleyanne,
It will be extremely difficult for you all :broken_heart: the first one is the worse but it will always be a hard time for you all as its not just the day its the whole Christmas period and New year, I think it will help having the headstone we also had Matt’s just before Christmas, on Christmas day we all meet up at the cemetery wrap up warm and take chairs and raise a toast to our precious boy, it helps to make them part of the day, even lay a place at the table, that’s how we get through :heart::pray:
Sending you love and support from Michelle xxx

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Hi Matt’s mom thank you for you kind message it’s really making me anxious. Katie s birthday is the 21st of Dec and she was buried new yrs eve so it’s very upsetting as it is but the ceremony for Leah is playing havvock with my mind at the moment we had a birthday do for her as it was her birthday 2 weeks after she was buried so we all let balloons off for her it was very emotional but lovely at the same time I miss her terribly and really struggling. I go away on sat to Cornwall and I’m dreading that aswell I feel guilty for going because I feel bad because my girls are at the cemetery I no it sounds crazy but I can’t help how I feel XX :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Dear Shellyanne,
I understand exactly how you are feeling, try not to get anxious as you will somehow get through and sometimes the lead up and thought of it is far worse than the actual day. Take comfort that they are together :heart: :pray: ask someone to visit the cemetery while you are away, take photographs of them with you to Cornwall to remind you that wherever you are they will be with you safely tucked in your heart pocket, look for them in the sunrise and sunsets :heart: look for the signs, you need to have a break it will do you good, be kind to yourself, much love from Michelle xxxx

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Hi everyone well I’ve been up to Leah and Katie tday and took them some lovely Lillie’s and tidied their grave up. Me and Darren sat on the bench in the sun listening to the robins chirping it was so lovely and peaceful but at the same time heartbreaking :broken_heart: :cry: but I feel very peaceful now I’ve been up to them we live 30 miles away but I go up as often as I can it’s just so cruel your children being taken before ourselves hope everyone is ok XX :heavy_heart_exclamation::two_hearts: shellyanne

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Hi everyone well the 26 Jan 2023 is almost here and it’s Leah’s 1 st anniversary this year has been the worst of my life apart from loosing Katie aswell there’s some days where I can’t function properly I can’t think straight all I can think about is Leah in the chapel of rest then the funeral the first Xmas without her crucified me then we had Katie’s anniversary on the 21 Dec it’s just been so hard people say the first year is the hardest and that it gets easier I hope so because I don’t think my relationship will survive much longer I don’t think my partner will cope with me much more I know I must be terrible to live with any advice please. Shellyanne XX :heart: