Hi , I’ve joined this site hoping for some advice and pointers to help my friend .
Unfortunately he lost his wife to cancer 8 yrs ago . He has a 21 yr old son who has the mental age of around 2yrs , he is non -verbal and unable to toilet himself , this is due to a rare condition that i can’t begin to explain , needless to say my friend has to care for him 24/7.
Due to all this my friend has never had chance to greave for his wife as he wasnt able to think about what he needed as his son needed his care .
He has no help from family or anyone else and doesnt seem to be able to get help from social services.
When i visit my friend, i find him very stressed and very angry at the world .
I am so worried that he is himself going to become ill.
He is 60 yrs old dealing with a 21 yr old baby in a mans body , i fear things are only going to get worse .
Unfortunately he is a very very proud man and would feel hed let his wife and son down if he wasn’t able to cope but trying to copè is going to kill him i fear .
Hopefully someone within this site can give me some ideas . Thank you
Does he have a Mencap office near ? Some of them have advice ,and also some have people that go and help . My son who died on the 17th July 2023 belonged to the one in Finchley North London .
Hi , im not sure but I’ll certainly check
What can i say !! What can anybody say!! . I lost my wife of 46 years . I am still devastated. . But im having a job holding back the tears . Your friend needs professional help as i dont think anyone will have the words you’re looking fore . I have said before life is a wonderfull thing but it can also be so bloody cruel and some can be cursed with more than there fair share of pain . All i can say is my thoughts are with you’re friend and wish him all the best !!!x
Hello I’ve just read about your friends situation, he must be exhausted both physically and mentally, is there anyway you could persuade him to get some help for example like carers or respite so that he can have a break even if it’s just to go for a walk and have a coffee, he is very lucky to have such a good friend who’s cares enough to reach out on his behalf.
These things are hard to get. To try and get a social worker is hard to get, when my children were young ,once you got a social worker you had them for a long time. Now you are only given a social worker for certain problem eg when my son wanted independence to live away from home once that is settled the social worker is taken away. Any other problem you have to apply again like reviews etc. It is a mind field,and to try and do this on your own is hard. That is why I said to see if there is an Mencap near or a carers Group.Or get in touch with his local council learning disability team.I wish him all the luck and Best wishes he can get