I lost my wonderful granny on New Year’s Day and the pain since has been terrible. I cared for her throughout her terminal illness and although I knew the end was near I was so unprepared. I was very close to her and she was a massive part of my identity. She was such a character and always full of chat. Now that she’s gone I feel at such a loss and I have cried every day since. I don’t know what to do but I don’t feel I am coping well at all…
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Dear Kez2,
Your granny must have been so grateful to have a granddaughter like you. It mus have been such a comfort to her that you were there for her in the last 6 months of her life and cared for her until the end. I hope that you had help and support from others. Looking after a loved one with a terminal illness is very hard emotionally, whatever age you are. I am a lot older than you and recently helped to look after my mother-in-law in the last 4 months of her life. I know how hard it is to see what the illness does to the person’s body. Your granny sounds like a very special person. It has been said that grief is the price we pay for love. It is not surprising that you are struggling. It is good that you have come to this site to look for support. You may find it helpful to read stories from others who lost a grandparent. There is no separate category for this, but if you use the looking glass in the right hand corner and do a search for ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa’ a list of posts and replies should come up. Please know that you are not alone in what you are going through and that the feelings of sadness will get less intense, Do treasure all the happy memories you have of your granny. She will be forever in your heart.
Jo
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Kez2 - I lost my own granny on New Year’s Eve 3 years ago and it was (sometimes still is) very hard. Even though my granny was in her 90s so it wasn’t a huge shock that she died, her death was still sudden.
I find a lot of people sort of dismiss it when you say a grandparent has died - as though, because they’re old, or because they’re ‘only’ a grandparent, it shouldn’t be a big loss. For those of us who were close to our grandparents though, it is really hard.
Your granny was so lucky to have you caring for her and being with her, I’m sure she appreciated it, and you.
It takes a long time to get to the point where you can see any light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there so try to keep going, one day at a time.
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Thank you Jo for your lovely message I really appreciate it. It really is so hard to watch someone you love deteriorate infront of your eyes, I hope you are doing ok after your own experience too. My granny was such an inspirational lady and always so positive. I just hope she is watching and that I do her proud. Thank you for the advice I will use the search function for that as reading similar stories would be beneficial. Take care
Thank you for taking the time to connect, I am sorry for your loss aswell, I’m sure it still is hard for you. Especially around that time of the year. Grannies are just the best!
Yeh I get that and I am grateful you have also brought that up. I was so close to granny and I know it is the natural order of things but it doesn’t make it any less painful. I find a lot of people have asked how my mum is but haven’t asked how I am. It seems silly but I really had such a special connection with my granny and it hurts that I haven’t been asked how I am feeling…
I have been spending time in the garden repotting some plants and feel close to granny while I am doing that as she loved her garden. Some days the grief is worse than others.
Thank you again your words mean so much
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