My head is scrambled, why do people have to be awful?

I lost my darling partner 5 weeks ago today. Wednesdays always seem particularly hard.

It was his funeral last week and it was as beautiful as it could be. I felt like I ended up disassociating badly through the day and the days after that as it just didn’t seem real. He was 38. I shouldn’t have been doing a reading for the man I loved at this age but I did it and I hope I made him so proud.

I have now come back down to earth with a bump. The people that have been around me have all quite understandably gone back to their lives, my family are unsupportive and I’m very aware at how alone I am.

Add to that, my partners father has been posting the most awful things all over facebook, aimed at me, my partners ex wife and the worst of all, his own son who cannot defend himself. They were estranged due to the man being quite frankly, evil. The things he has said about my partner are just awful. I know its all deflection techniques from a narcissist and that he has just shown himself to be every bit as awful as my partner said he was and that no one would believe what he has said but it’s just caused me so much upset and anxiety that even in his passing he won’t let him rest in peace.

Why do people have to be so hurtful?


Hi, I feel for you and can associate with so much. I hate Wednesdays too as it was the day my o/h was taken to hospital and passed away. The funeral was also last Wednesday and like you I was on another planet that day. I returned to work this week but after 7 weeks the days aren’t yet any easier. I hadn’t realised it was a week since the funeral until someone reminded me as the loss itself is still so all consuming. It certainly highlights kind and not so kind people. Some can make the grieving even harder by their actions. But we have this group of kind people who truly understand what we are going through and we will support each other.

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Well done on going back to work. I’m 6 weeks today since Bry was robbed from me & I’ve just been told his ashes are ready to collect. I really don’t how I feel about that as I’m still so angry he was taken & I know he’s gone but I hate that fact. :sleepy::sleepy::broken_heart: xx

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@Dizzapea @Tiffany @PollyjaneW Hi all, I’m nearly fifteen months into this and I don’t seem to be doing much better. I still can’t comprehend my lovely husband is not here. If I could accept that maybe things would improve … I don’t know? We were together fifty years and it has gone by in the blink of an eye and I miss him terribly. I can’t find any joy in things I used to and it worries me that this is how the rest of my life will be. I know people say take a day at a time but every day is like ground hog day. Sorry for being so negative but I can’t see the wood for the trees at the minute. Wishing you all well.x


Hi both. Firstly on a practical note how do you copy the name, @ etc?
My son is collecting the ashes to save me one upset, although they are being scattered on 19/5 which will be another hurdle.
50 years is a long time to be together so it will take a lot of adjustment. It’s hard to adjust isn’t it when it took no effort whatsoever to be happy. X

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Cos theyre sad people :pensive: take no notice of the man ! You just live your best life and forget about them. Mourn your partner and firget everybody else ! Xx

Hi @Tiffany, if you press the, “@” button, it will bring up a list of names of people who have posted so far, or you can just start typing a name. Hope this helps.

Sorry to interrupt @Dizzapea - so sorry you’re going through this. I’m glad you’ve reached out for support here.


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I don’t think you are in your own , I know I may get through but I’ll never be happy again. How can we when our soulmates have been taken & we don’t feel whole anymore :sleepy::sleepy::sleepy: xxx

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@Deb5 I blocked him as did many others, it’s just awful. I just can’t believe someone can be so evil, especially towards their own child who was genuinely the kindest soul

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Dear Dizzapea,

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this rubbish just after your partner’s funeral. I have come to the conclusion that people like your partner’s father have no idea what it is like to be happy, love someone, or be loved by someone, they are just an empty shell so they take it out on other people.

You need to spend your time grieving for the man you loved and forget about people like your partner’s father because they are just sad little people who should be pitied.

After my husband died over eight years ago, I got sick of seeing all the people we considered friends posting their lives on Facebook, they could not go anywhere or do anything without posting about it online, yet could not be bothered about me, even though the crematorium was packed to overflowing but once they had all left after the wake I never heard from them again. I closed my Facebook account. Good riddance to them all. My email address was under Peter’s name which I kept for sentimental reasons really, I just check it now and again but there is nothing from anyone we knew and then started a different email address for myself. After a year and not hearing a thing from anyone I blocked all calls apart from family, hospitals and GP’s and I have been better for it.

We do not want negativity in our lives we have enough to deal with when we lose our loved one without having poison spewing from nasty little people’s mouths.

It will take time, a lot of time before you will be able to get your life into some semblance of order but believe you me, you will get there just by putting one foot in front of the other.


Oh i can believe it ! I had a lot of spitefulness in my own family ! I have a large family and theres only a few people who keep in touch and check im ok … people can be very nasty and selfish cant they unfortunately xx