It’s nearly a year since our youngest daughter Amy died aged 21.
I have mostly been ok health wise, but I have suffered from heart palpitations and I had a trip to the hospital by ambulance a couple of months ago, they discovered that I have an irregular heartbeat, so I’m on pills for that now.
Then on Wednesday evening I had a biliary colic attack, it was so painful, and scary, my blood pressure went to 250 over 80……my partner called 999 and they said to chew an aspirin whilst we waited for the ambulance.
The amazing doctors at the hospital took blood, to check for damage to the heart. I had a chest x-ray and and stomach ultrasound, which showed that I had gallstones.
I’m wondering whether I would have got these health problems if Amy had not died.
I know from other family members who have lost a loved one that their health has deteriorated. I’m 59 years old and I do want to be around for a few more years.
My health is usually very good and I rarely take time off work, apart from this year.
Has anyone else been through any health problems following the death of a child or partner ?
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
@Jack27 I am so sorry to hear of the lost of your daughter. Life is so unfair and cruel. I lost my husband suddenly at Christmas. He was 53 years old. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Since my husband has gone I haven’t been to the doctor’s so much with health issues. I am also waiting for tests at the hospital. I am suffering from trauma also. I think the stress and shock of losing your daughter and my husband has put such a stress on our bodies and I expect our immune system are down as well. They say that grief is not just emotional but physical as well. Take care of yourself. Big hugs xx
I do believe it causes health problems. mine has got worse in the last yr its been 14 months. however with me i dont go to drs very often, one i dont trust them and two, i have had a phobia about medication and other stuff for about 25 yrs, dont know why but it stops me having tests done etc and all i get from drs is well get over it. i have had gall stones for 30 yrs they play up sometimes but i live with them.
trouble is since hubby died, every little ache or pain and i panic its a vicious circle. I have heard of people going downhill after losing a partner even dying within a couple of yrs, whether this is down to health, stress, grief or a broken heart i dont know.
So sorry about your terrible loss I’m experiencing health issues too. I lost my mother 18 months ago and we were incredibly close. She needed a lot of care in the last couple of years of her life (she had survived a stroke and did v well for a few years then deteriorated). Coupled with a stressful job, constant travelling and financial struggle, caring for her took its toll on my health. Somehow, when she left me, I was distraught but relieved she wasn’t suffering anymore. I also expected my health to improve. It hasn’t. I’m always seeing drs and not getting better. I’ve improved some things (constant back pain) but the rest (high blood pressure, palpitations, autoimmune disease flare ups, migraines, not to mention mental health problems) has got worse. Grief affects our bodies for sure. Sending you so much love
Hi Fede,
Thanks for your message. So sorry for your loss.
Listening to music helps me……My spotify playlist is nearly at 1000 songs.
Just before we lost Amy I started listening to Audio books on audible, and I have since discovered more audio books on youtube.
I hardly ever watch tv now as my attention span isn’t good.
I find that I can get lost in a verbal story which can help me sleep better.
I have modified my diet so that I can avoid anymore pain caused by the gallstones.
My work is my hobby, I have a wool shop and I run social knitting and crochet clubs during the week. This has kept me sane for the last 10 years.
What do you do for work?
Hi Jack, unfortunately my work used to be my hobby and what I loved. I’m an academic. But after a decade the university has become such a bad place I’m not even enjoying it anymore. I’ve heard this once: “don’t do what you love or you’ll end up hating what you do”. Clearly that’s not true for you and I hope it stays that way. I had more time to read and write (and more passion) when I had a 9-5 job in the software industry. Now, as an academic, I’ve lost interest in my work Thank you for the tips!
I must agree about not having much trust in doctors. Mine increased my statin medication which didnt siut me. He knew i had only lost my husband 4 months ago so got a kind of brain fog. When i asked him to repeat something he shouted I’ve already explained this once. He wont speak to me like that again as I’m changing doctors. As far as your gallstones i had my gallbladder removed because it was full of stones. Best thing i ever did. Take care
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
I’m experiencing health issues too. I lost my mother 18 months ago and we were incredibly close. She needed a lot of care in the last couple of years of her life (she had survived a stroke and did v well for a few years then deteriorated). Coupled with a stressful job, constant travelling and financial struggle, caring for her took its toll on my health. Somehow, when she left me, I was distraught but relieved she wasn’t suffering anymore. I also expected my health to improve. It hasn’t. I’m always seeing drs and not getting better. I’ve improved some things (constant back pain) but the rest (high blood pressure, palpitations, autoimmune disease flare ups, migraines, not to mention mental health problems) has got worse. Grief affects our bodies for sure. Sending you so much love 
Thank you for the tips! 