My heart hurts

My daughter died in May 2020. Not unexpected but sudden, especially during lock down. Was just coming to terms with it.
My son struggled. I have been supporting him during this current crisis. On Wednesday he committed suicide.

I can’t cope. My heart hurts.


Hello @Gingercat,

I can see you are new to the community and wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter and your son - that is devastating and so much for someone to cope with. Most of our members have experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support but I wanted to share these links with you, as I know other members who have lost someone to suicide have found these organisations helpful.

Please do think about getting some support for yourself right now. You may want to explore our Online Bereavement Support, where you find our Grief Guide self-help platform, our Grief Coach text support service, and how to access our Online Bereavement Counselling.

You can reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
  • If you’re worried you’re going to hurt yourself, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

You are not alone - keep reaching out.


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Oh Gingercat,
I am so so sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you, to lose one child is devastating as we all know, but two an even worse nightmare I just can’t imagine.
I do hope you have a support network and although I cannot send any advice I send you the biggest virtual hug possible xx

Oh my goodness, I am so incredibly sorry for your losses. It’s just inconceivable to lose 2 precious children. I lost my 22 year old son suddenly in June 2020 to sudden cardiac arrest & am utterly broken :broken_heart:
I’m just so so sorry. I hope you have kind loving support around you. There are no words to help, I send my heartfelt condolences to you x

Hello Gingercat - i empathise with you. It is such a heartbreak to loose two children. It is unfathomable and tragic. Everything you feel is normal - you need all the support that is out there. I lost two of my sons in late 2021, eleven weeks apart. I send you my love, strength , am here for you along with the lovely people on this site xxx

My husband died by suicide 3 weeks ago and whilst I can’t ever begin to imagine things from your perspective I can understand some of the feelings you may be going through. Pete was only 41, we’d been together for 21 years and married for 13. We have 3 children together age 15,12 and 9. Please keep talking and sharing. My hope is that one day this won’t feel so raw for us x

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I am so angry with the mental health services. My son reached out many times. I begged them to take him into hospital. He even called an ambulance on himself and the dispatcher told him to grow up and cut the call.
Where is the support for people who are struggling?
My son worked in the NHS and they let him down.
I need answers.

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The pain they were in must have been unbearable. I hope that he is now at peace. But it does leave us with many feelings… Anger, denial, disbelief…
I keep thinking he is coming home soon.

The children need our support. My son was only 41 and left 3 children too.

Time is a healer they say. I hope so.xx

Oh gingercat
I’m so sorry for the loss of both your children, my daughter died April this year. My heart goes out to you, I have 2 other children 2 boys 1 is 2 years so doesn’t understand but the other is 12 & he’s struggling. I can’t imagine the pain your going through.