Hello
My name is Bev and I lost my dad in March to end stage kidney disease , he had dementia, diabetes and heart problems . He died in Wheatfeilds hospice on the 29th March 2021 . I was with him when he passed but the last week of his life I wasn’t allowed in the hospice due to covid . My mum and brother were allowed in for one hour a day as they were from the same household . I still went every day and sat in the car park . I just can not believe my dad is gone and that I can never speak , see or hear him ever again . How do you go on without your dad ? I crave him and I want to talk to him .
Thank you for reading and I hope everyone who is on this group is finding help and support xxx
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Hello Bev, welcome to the site and thank you for sharing your post. We all have lost someone special and dads are very special, you will miss him so much and it hurts. I now Wheatfeilds is excellent and they will have cared for your dad extremely well with love and care but I can’t imagine how you felt sitting in the car park, so near but unable to be with him. Take tiny steps on this road called grief and be kind to yourself, he would want you to be strong and make sure your mum and brother are ok. Keep posting and reading others posts, they do help. Stay safe. S xxx
Hi ,
Thank you for responding .
It’s just broken me . Completely 
I am on the waiting list to speak to Wheatfeilds bereavement team . I would love to know what he said , what his thoughts were, did he know he was dying . I was helpless in the car but I was as close as I could get to him . He probably wondered why I wasn’t there with his dementia . He never asked about me . I hope he didn’t forget me . X
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Awwww Bev, your dad would never forget you, just as you’ll never forget him. Please take comfort from your mum and your brother & your lovely children.
Covid has such a lot to answer for. Your dad will have been well cared for though. I hope you get to speak to the bereavement team soon. Big hugs
Hi ,
I do too but there is a waiting list . I know he definitely knew I did everything to help him as he kept trying to give me ‘ a couple of hundred ‘ from his wallet for sorting things out . Bless him - kind to the end . Xxx
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Hi Bev,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad about 3 years ago and I can literally relate to your pain. It’s a shame you weren’t able to see your dad when he was in the hospice but the fact that you went and sat in the car park , he would of know that you were there . You can never go without your dad. They just have this special character and I hate that feeling too that you can’t just hold their hand or give them a hug. However he is looking down on you and thinking that you are strong and he will be there beside you every step of the way. Please feel free to message me if you ever need a chat x