My beautiful 33 year old daughter took her own life 10 weeks ago and now the funeral is all over I’m beginning to feel how big this is and I miss her so badly and hurt so much that its impossible to describe. She was so much of my life I dont know myself without her and can’t imagine as my only child what joy will ever look like again and seem to have lost my purpose. I feel so lost and alone.
I lost my 27 year old daughter in 2018 so I know exactly how you feel. You are still very early on in your journey. Please don’t put pressure on yourself to get back to some kind of “normality” but take each day at a time. You will never “get over it” but in time you will build a life round it. I miss my Charlotte so much it still physically hurts but I now try to live a full life in her memory.
Thank you. And i can hear how much you miss Charlotte. I’m sorry.
I lost my son in December 7weeks ago it is the most horrendous pain and i am inconsolable at times i never thought i would be in this place but it is a big help talking to people on this site who are also feeling this heartache.
Carla I dont have any words that I know can help other than to say I am sorry beyond words and you are not alone with how you feel. And of course you feel as you do having lost a part of you and often the purpose for our lives. Im only 10 weeks down the road and still in shock, disbelief, angry and all I can say is that I try not judge anything right now but just be what I need to be and take each day and sometimes each hour as it comes. I wish I had words that could comfort you but I know that’s not possible.
Thank you Sam i worry about going back to work but i just cant face that yet then feel guikty as maybe i should be back but loosing Kyle in this way and not saying goodbye has knocked me for six. Its horrendous how we feel i cant describe it to anyone. I am lucky my partner is amazing and so patient with me which helps and my grandchildren. My middle son as kyle was my eldest and my youngest daughter are broken too and its horrific seeing this x each day is different and nothing seems real x seven weeks feels like a day i cant believe its gone so fast x thinking of you Sam x
Carla. There are no shoulds with what has happened. And all the normal rules of coping that you’ve naturally used all your life often just don’t apply no matter how much we want to escape how we feel. And like you10 weeks for all of us feels like yesterday. I know for many the financial pressures leave no choice however its not possible for you to expect to function as you did before and and you will read this over and over again and it is important to listen to your body and what you need and sometimes you may have no idea. And your right, it isn’t possible to explain how you feel. although as parents who have lost children we have some idea of the anguish, despair , loneliness and purpose ripped from our lives.
Its been nearly 3 months and the pain of losing what and who I treasured most in the world just keeps getting bigger and bigger as does my longing to have her back. I sit in utter disbelief of what my life now is. Time stands still and I feel like a broken clock who just keeps repeating the same words over and over again. I’m exhausted and yet afraid to sleep at night because I wake to the same nightmare each day. I will but I dont want to live without her. This feels so cruel.