My hero, my dad

Losing a parent
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I lost my dad September 2023. He was a fit 70 year old until he went in for an operation to cure cancer. Due to a hospital wards neglect in his first week my dad ended up in icu for 3 months then after 9 months of ill health pneumonia took him. Leaving me heartbroken :broken_heart: 1 year & 4 months later I still think of him every single day & the tears are still flowing. He was & is to this day my hero…

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Hi @260874,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,
Ben

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I imagine the fact that it shouldn’t have happened makes it even harder for you to process and accept. I lost my Dad, who will always be my hero, last year to suicide so I can appreciate the level of pain that you must be feeling. 9 months for me and every day Dad is the first and last thing on my mind, as well as the majority of the day. I cry often, and I talk to him often too. One of the other members on this site told me that its normal to cycle through periods that feel a bit easier then back to heavy grief, but that in time the pain will lessen.
I also try to think of how Dad would want me to be, he always hated seeing me unhappy, and on the times where I’m ok I can feel his pride. I know we’d give anything to have them back in physical form, but your Dad is still with you, you just cant see or hear him :blue_heart:

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I am so sorry for your loss. I have just joined this forum as my father passed away in November 2023 from cancer age 77. He was fit and active, even up to a few weeks before he passed. It was & still is such a shock. I genuinely (clearly naively) assumed my dad would live to his 90s as he was so fit. I don’t think I dealt with his passing at the time as I had 2 small children at home & buried myself in family life. My dad was and will always be my hero.

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It’s bewildering, isn’t it.

My dad was fit, active and busy - he’d retired, but was active in the community, teaching primary school children and supporting the local church.

It was utterly bewildering when he had a cardiac arrest in November 2023, and we were told that he couldn’t survive it, aged 76.

The biggest and most catastrophic shock of my life.

His dad lived to age 99, so I too had high hopes that he’d follow in his footsteps. When he mentioned making plans to deal with his estate, etc. I’d scoff and tell him he’ll be around for decades yet. But I knew that it was important to him to get everything prepared, so I listened with respect, as much as I hated acknowledging that he had most likely approached the final quarter of his life.

It’s incredibly shit. My mum didn’t bring us up to value my dad. But thankfully I came to realise that he is the most amazing person I have ever known. And I am SO lucky to be his daughter. I feel like someone might if they were related to, I don’t know, a famous pop star or a Nobel prize winner or something. I beam with pride that I am his daughter. And I’m so glad that we were so close. He confided in me and knew that I’d always listen and help if I could. I was always excited to see him. I love him with all my heart. We were 2 peas in a pod, and we had so many more memories to make. When his dad was frail I would sit with him, and we’d listen to ABBA and Elaine Page, and talk about his past. I wanted to do the same with my dad :cry:.

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