I feel so lost & am scared
My husband passed away on 5th aug only 7weeks & 6days after being diagnosed with bowel with spread to his liver & lungs very quickly….he was 53
we have our 10 year old Grandaughter on a special guardianship order . i just feel so alone at moment has i am having to sort his funeral etc and deal with Grandaughter who as Sen needs am not having time to deal with it at all
My heads all over the place and i dont know what to do
Hello @Sarah24,
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment and you are feeling alone and overwhelmed.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about about our Grief Guide self-help platform and bereavement support information.
There is also help to support your granddaughter with grief which may be useful for you.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Alex
Dear @Sarah24 , I am so sorry for your loss and I imagine that you must be going through terrible pain and anguish right now.
I hope that you have family and friends who can help you. Please post here and ask questions, all of us here are in this terrible path we never wanted to join. The first few months are very tough, please remember to look after yourself, try to eat and drink lots of water, if you are having a hard time sleeping go see your GP and ask for help.
Sending you a big hug!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. 
What you are dealing with is an enormous amount for one person to carry, especially after such a short and devastating illness. Losing your husband at just 53, and then having to immediately deal with funeral arrangements and caring for your 10-year-old granddaughter who has additional needs, leaves you almost no space to actually grieve.
Please don’t feel that you should know what to do right now. Your head being all over the place, feeling frightened, lost and completely overwhelmed is such a normal response to something so traumatic. You are trying to navigate life without the person you expected to share it with, while still having to be strong for someone else.
Try to take things one hour, even one minute, at a time. You don’t have to solve everything today. Let people help you where they can, even with the smallest things. And please remember that looking after yourself isn’t selfish — your granddaughter needs you, but she also needs you to have someone looking after you too.
I lost my soulmate Paul , 8 weeks ago he was 59 and I know that awful feeling of wondering how on earth you are supposed to carry on when your whole world has changed. You aren’t alone here. We may not have the answers, but we understand the pain, and you can talk here whenever you need to.There are some lovely supportive people on here so please reach out.
Sending you strength.
A 
Dear Sarah I am so sorry you are in this terrible situation. You must look after yourself now and take whatever help you are offered. I sincerely hope you have someone close who can support you. Wishing you all the strength you will need and sending hugs
All the best Tom
Hi Sarah
I am so very sorry for your loss. You must be feeling so completely overwhelmed right now. None of us are any good at this. I literally asked everyone I met “how am I supposed to do this?”
Be kind to yourself and don’t be afraid to accept help when it is offered (not always easy I know). Not everything has to be done immediately.
Take care x
Dear Sarah , I feel so humbled by your story . My husband was 67 when he died and our children are raised but I do know some widows that lost their husbands young and had to raise their children alone while grieving. All I can say is that they survived and they are living good lives . I know hearing that doesn’t help you now but I see that people have been giving you very good advice .There are lots of organisations that can help . Also it is so important to reach out . To family friends and neighbours . Anyone that offers help say yes . I hope you get the support that you need .
Hi @Sarah24 I’m so sorry for your loss. My experience was very similar to yours. My wife died around 9 weeks after being diagnosed with kidney cancer which had metastasised. It’s been 19 months since that happened but I still remember how lost, alone and confused I felt in those first months. Truthfully, it hasn’t gone away.
One piece of advice I picked up in those days was - you can’t pour from an empty cup. What you’re going through is draining on all levels and you’ll only be in a position to help others after you’ve made sure you’re looking after yourself. I think that translates into just take one day at a time, make sure you eat and sleep (if you can), be kind to yourself, and try and accept support from others if you can - this isn’t a bad place for that if you have no one else. It’s not going to be an easy road, take care of yourself.
Hi @Sarah24
I am sorry for your loss , and you are having to cope with your grief, plus looking after your granddaughter. I hope you have some family and friends to support you. You have been given some really good advice ,
I remember feeling lost and alone and wondering how the hell will I cope on my own now .
The first few months of grief are horrible
take any offers of help you get .
Reach out to your gp and see if you can get some counselling. Talking about how you feel does help .
Look after yourself