I have been been with my husband for 17 years and we have been married for 15 years in July. We have had our ups and downs like every relationships do. Everything was so perfect and his mum passed away in August last year. He was close to his mum. He was there for her from day 1 when we found she had cancer. He we too every appointment she had and she didn’t want any treatment. My husband just misses her to be with his mum when she had taken her last breath. He was so quiet and not him self for a week or so. He hasnt griefed over his mum after she passed away.All he has done since she died is drink 2 to 6 pints a day after work and not sleeping or eating properly. Then it moving forward to the on tbe 24th April He went away with sone work mates and he had a good time then ge came home and he was still the sane with me to what he has been for months and before his mum passed away. We was so in love and he wouldn’t leave me alone. Then on the Tuesday he was ok through the day and saying he loves me and he cant wait for us to move intonhis mums house. To what we had planned to do. Wednesday and Thursday wasnthe same he was telling me he loves me and was fine with me. Other than not coming near me as he said he had an headache. Friday came he has changed and he wasn’t him self at all. He said his head was hurting and felt it was going to explode he then left me and our son and went to his mums house and me and our son in our family home. That weekend he didn’t talk to me other him telling me he wasn’t well and his head hurts. He came home on Tuesday the week after and he was carm and then changed again. He started to getting nasty and said he cant do this and he will not do this anymore to what his head is saying. He never said anything to why hes saying it. He said his heart is sayingbhe lives me and wants to be with me. I was so upset and confused. Our son gave him and hug and he pushed me away and he was in tears and cane out with to.oyr son im leaving your mum. I came out with tonhim that his head isn’t in a good place and I said that he isn’t leaving ne to our son. He got funny with me. Then walk his work bag and left again to go to his mums. He hasn’t spoke. To me then until I ring him. On the friday and he was being really strange and notbtalking probably to me and he said that haven’t I got it in my head to.what he said before and said there is no us and no plans for the nee house. I have been in tears and dont know what to.do. my husband then messaged me this weekend and we was talking about solicitors and what we want from our relationship from how things had been before and talking about saving money. The ither thing he said he is fed up.of not having any money but we are trying to run 2 houses. I dont know what to do. He is my world, my rock, my sole mate, I love him so much and ita hurting all this and how he is. I keep getting told give him space and he will come back. Where ment to be going on holiday on the 29th May. Please someone help me. I feel so low and hurting. Why is he doing this after him saying he loves me and is so excited for us to have a new start in his mums house. We even started to move things of ours into the house. He has had his auntie who is the executor of his mums will starting on him and not doing what she’s ment yo do in the will and demanding half of his mums ashes.
Hello @Lindz83,
Thank you for bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband’s mum. It sounds like you’ve been doing your best to support him through a incredibly difficult time, and it also sounds like his way of grieving has been painful and challenging for you. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling low and hurt right now.
When it comes to something as tough as grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone you love. Our Grief Kind campaign has lots of resources that can help. You can:
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Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
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Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
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Read our guide on supporting someone else who has been bereaved.
It’s also really important to take care of yourself while supporting your husband. The community is here to listen and support you, and you don’t have to go through this alone 
Take care,
Harriet