My husband died after a battle with lymphoma

I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. I had cared for him while he underwent chemotherapy and was making good progress. He was taken into hospital after developing a temperature which was a common occurrence with his condition. He had a bed waiting for him but when the ambulance was on the way to the hospital we were turned around and sent to a different hospital and he was placed on a Covid ward as he had a high temperature. Whilst there He was tested for Covid which was negative so they moved him to a lympoma ward for treatment for a chest infection and sent home after 2 days. He must have contracted the virus while at the hospital as he became unwell a few weeks later he was admitted again and tested positive. They stopped all treatment basically, I insisted he came home and I cared for him for 4 days until he died. I’m beside myself with grief and anger and guilt at the way his life ended . I’m struggling with the pain of it all

Hi I lost my husband in March just before lockdown Had not been right for a month several colonoscopys which revealed nothing started losing weight in feb CT scan done in March stated bowel cancer to which had spread a treatment plan was been put in place on a Thursday day before bowel ruptured unable to operate gone to far I brought him home from hospital as Covid 19 ward next door he lasted a day at home. There’s a lot of guilt when suddenly they die and certain tests not picking up on the cancer. Sorry for your loss xx

Thank you Kim. It’s such a struggle to cope with the pain of the loss. As you too will know x

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Good morning,
I lost my husband nearly 4 weeks ago. He had a sarcoma in his leg was treated for that, finished radiation therapy March. But unfortunately had a lymphoma in his stomach lining, grade 3. Started chemotherapy 3rd week in March. He became extremely unwell and had to go into hospital the following week. He just didn’t get better and passed away in hospital. We thought he was only going in to sort out the sickness and upset tummy he had. It’s devastating isn’t it. I’m sure he would still be here if he didn’t start the chemotherapy, but he was in pain with the lymphoma.
How do you cope? I’ve got no idea! Just dragging myself through each day at the moment.
So difficult. X

Hello, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I am struggling with my loss. I found that I couldn’t cry very much in the first couple of weeks, I put it down to the very difficult few months we had prior to his death and the shock of the terrible end for my husband. I am having days where I am unable to do much and other days it seems easier. I try not to think about it and it seems to help me. I’m ok until I talk about things. Probably not the best way to deal with it but it works for me. People tell me he’s in a better place but I can’t agree with them. Hope you are ok xx

Hi GW,
I’m feeling calmer than when my husband first passed away. But the sadness and emptiness is with me every moment of every day. I just want him to come home.
We had so many plans but they have been taken away.
He did say when his test results started changing that he wouldn’t see our 8year old daughter married and it was so upsetting, I said cause you will but he was right and it breaks my heart thinking of that conversation.
I hope you’re doing ok, small steps and do things you feel you can. X

Hi Yorkie I only just read you message, so sorry for the late reply. I too seem to be just wanting him to come home now it’s almost torture. I have a constant feeling of dread. I’m getting on with things because I have to, And it’s what he would want. It’s not easy but I’m not giving in to this grief.
I along with everyone is worried about how life is ever going to improve with this virus around It scares me. Circumstances are making things so much worse aren’t they. Keep strong xxx