My Husband died

Hi, I’m new on here, my Husband died nearly 2 years ago.
I feel like I’m on automatic, I force myself to get up, and go work. I dont go out very often, apart from work.
I found him, it was unexpected, it was very traumatic for me … I phoned 999 and they told me to perform cpr … even though I told them he’d gone, I’ll never forget that … it plays over and over in my head.
I suffer from a number of conditions … which dont help.
I just feel so lonely …
Thanks for reading


So glad you have found us here as there are many, many supportive people who have suffered this dreadful loss. My 60 year old husband died suddenly too. He was slim, strong and as far as we knew fit and healthy.
The shock was truly awful and I would never have imagined this level of grief.
I do have better days now, ten months on, where I can get on with life and have a laugh with my daughters and friends. Tears are often not far away but less intense usually and I’m learning not to feel guilty days I don’t cry.
Sending love
Karen xxx


Welcome to our group and thank you for sharing. So sorry for the loss of your husband under such traumatic and unexpected circumstances. You should congratulate yourself on finding the strength somehow to get up and got to work, even though you feel like you are on automatic. There is no timeline on grief, we tread our own path, but can share what we feel with others who know the pain. Sending you and Karen lots of love and hugs xxx


Thank you Karen.
I am sorry for your loss.
I know what you mean about feeling guilty, glad you are able to work through it.
Take care

1 Like

Thank you Sandi.

@GC.1 So sorry but it does help on here sometimes

Thank you Dave 13

@GC.1 I’m so sorry for your loss and the awful circumstances. Your original post is so full of the sadness and inner loneliness we all feel here on losing our loved ones. Please feel you can continue to share and you will find support from the many kind and caring people here. Love xx

Hi there - I lost my husband a year ago and I find I get a lot from being around other people who have been widowed as they get it. I am a member of Way up that has virtual and in person meet ups all around the country.

Hi Heather51
Sorry to hear about your husband.
I’ve never heard of that group before, I’ll have a look.
Thank you

Hi Mike75
Thank you

HI, I recently lost my dear husband, 18 days ago. I had to perform CPR and I knew that he had already gone. I tried for 30 mins with him in the drivers seat of my car so it was very hard, but I gave it everything I had. We do what we can and thats all we can do, we tried. I spoke to a dr later the following week and asked if I could of done anything different. He said no, if you are untrained and alone its very hard. Even a trained person would find it difficult in certain situations and for such a long time. He said he himself would be unlikely to keep a person alive with CPR for a long time on his own. So please try and not think about it too much, as I am trying hard to do also ! Your husband had already passed but you did what you were told in a traumatic situation that none of us are prepared for. We have to try and concentrate on all the memories now and how wonderful they are. I have only just joined this group and already feeling a little better with the genuine warmth from others.


Hi lou38,
So sorry for your loss, thank you x


Hey, nothing I have found, can take away the pain, I too found my fiance in bed, he had been gone hours, but I was told to fo CPR, understandably, there was nothing that I wouldn’t do, even though, the colour of his skin still haunts me!, My thoughts are, that he is in heaven, & I must be in hell, because thats what it feels like , for me, 3rd april marks 3 yrs, he was taken by Covid, god spead his love to you x


So sorry to hear that. Yes I too can still see Keiths face when he died, I never wanted to see anyone dead, but paramedics revived him albiet too late and when he was in intensive care, he actually looked more “normal” like my Keith was just asleep. This is so hard. I hope you can be with family and friends on 3rd April


Hi elle2
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you.

@Elle2 Thinking of you today. Love and support xx

ELLE, Hope you are with friends and family today, sending love and hugs to you, Lou