My husband lost his dad and is pushing me away

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Hi I’m new here.

My husband lost his dad suddenly in february this year. There weren’t close but it was still his dad, he was on holiday when he found out his dad had past at first he seemed to be coping ok then around 3 weeks after the funeral it hit him hard he left the family home didn’t want to be around me. Said his given up on life. He has since come back but is very distant , he doesn’t want to do anything together . He says he doesn’t want to be around people but it feels like it’s me he doesn’t want to be around. His going to work going out with friends. He just doesn’t like being at home anymore it seems. Selfishly I then start questioning if he loves me and wants the relationship which he says he does but then he will go to work and not come home, not ring or text me . Not talk to me for days. I’ve tried giving him space but I’m struggling. It’s only been 3 months but it feels like forever it’s emotional whiplash being with him hot and cold , we get close then he shuts down for days, his going away at the end of the month but didn’t want to go away a couple of weeks ago with me on the holiday that was already booked. I just don’t know what to do.

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Hello @Ar1,

Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry for your husband’s loss.

When it comes to something as tough as grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone you love. Our Grief Kind campaign has lots of resources that can help. You can:

  • Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
  • Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
  • Read our guide on supporting someone else who has been bereaved.

I hope that you find these resources helpful. Please take good care of yourself, too - the community is here for you.

Alex

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