Loosing my husband of 44 years
I’m still .struggling to cope. My husband passed away in the first week of January this year.
He spent his last few days in a hospice so I knew he wouldn’t be coming home.
I’m still finding it very hard to make myself get up in the morning and some days it’s only because I have to feed and look after my little dog prevents me from just staying in bed. Most days I feel so down and drained.
Although I know he’s gone I still somehow can’t accept it.
It has been a comfort to read how other people are feeling, and know I’m not alone in my grief. 2024-10-18T23:00:00Z
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Firstly sending a hug and love to you. This loss is like no other and it’s affects are far reaching. Not only have we lost the one we love and best friend, but we lost our future and our plans for our lives together.
I’m pleased your little dog gives you a reason to keep going. I do think finding new purpose can help so much.
I use my determination to make my husband proud of me to motivate me to do many of the things I do. I know that sometimes he’d be looking down said “What the heck are you doing that for?” but that’s another story.
It’s 2 1/2 years since I lost my husband of nearly 30 years. He died suddenly, without any warning. I have had busy thrust upon me anyway but I have always been a busy person.
I miss him every day but I’m lucky to have one of my two daughters still living with me. She needs my support to try and build her independence so I have a purpose in that straight away.
It’s so difficult to get motivated to do things but maybe trying to think what you would get a sense of satisfaction from doing and see if you can find it within yourself to try it.
Little steps and ensuring you acknowledge to yourself that you already are achieving by getting going each day for your little dog.
Karen xxx
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Ladybling - I am so sorry that you are still suffering so badly. If there were words to make you feel alive again, I would shout them to you.
Some say that when you get past the first year, things get better. I pray it is true for you and for me.
Much love,
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Thank you so much. xx
Thank you. I suppose what makes the first year more difficult is that there are so many 1st’s to go through, his birthday, my birthday, Christmas etc, that’s one that I’m dreading. He was so poorly last Christmas he didn’t even know what day it was.
I hope we both get some comfort very soon. xx
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Ladybling, yes, it will be hard. It will be sad. You will feel lonely and alone. Plus, it is a reminder of last Christmas when your husband was in such bad shape and suffering so much. He isn’t anymore. Look at photos of him when he was young to keep those last images out of your head.
I’ve realized that at every big holiday celebration with family and friends there was someone missing a loved one and went home to an empty house.
Now it is me. And you. All of us, really.
I know exactly how you feel, losing someone you’ve loved & lived with for so long is so so heartbreaking… it hurts so much, perhaps because we loved them so much…
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My life was my husband and I am so grateful to him for the years we had together. My memories fill a lifetime. We had a fantastic life together.
I will join family on Christmas Eve and friends on New Years Day. I have decided. I want to see happy children opening gifts and puppies and wrapping paper everywhere and eat while watching a football game. For a minute or so. Just wading into the pool.