I lost my beloved husband in January I don’t seem to be able to come to terms with him not being here with me I miss him so so much we were married 46 years he was my everything he had lung cancer had his lung removed and I looked after him for 6 years and I would have done it for evermore then he developed a brain tumor broke are hearts he had radiotherapy but didn’t cope very well he had his last session which was only 6 on December 6 ended up in hospital caught sepsis then m r infection thought he was getting better hospital kept saying he will be home at the weekend waiting for physio but as weeks went on still not home on the last day they said going to put a drip up I went into his room telling everyone this but my nieces who are both senior nurses told me he was not going to have the drip he was going I said goingwhere I said please tell me the truth they said he was going to die I said when they said soon my heart was shattered couldn’t believe it why did they say they were putting a drip up when he was dying if my nieces had not told me I could have gone home he would have been on his own I just can’t get over this he died on the Friday but on the Monday before he asked me to bring his shaving things up and nail clippers he managed to shave himself I gave him a good wash and he trimmed his nails I never thought he was making himself nice before he died he was such a proud man then yesterday on my phone I found a voicemail which I had not seen before as I’m a novice on technology and he had left a voicemail on it saying Karen I’m ready to go love to funeral my heart is broken beyond repair I’m so gutted I never knew it was there I’ve done nothing but cry since sorry this is a long message
Karen, I am sorry you are feeling so sad. I lost my Darling wife of 52 years in April2024 so I do understand how hard it is. It was my village’s bereavement cafe today, it meets once a month. I felt better when I came away. One of the things we talked about was to look at the happy times you both had, and what made your partner so special to you, something they did that you really liked. Now the difficult bit, Think about all the good times and be happy that you had that time with them and try to leave the sadness. I struggle to leave the sadness behind but I am trying to.
Sending you a big hug, like from your brother. Have a look at the Loosing a Partner section.
Oh Karen, I’m thinking of you and understand well the shock and grief you are feeling. Try to take some comfort in your wonderful marriage. I say this as I try to do the same. Take great care x
Thankyou so much for your kind words it means a lot I was so lucky to have such a fantastic husband I think that’s why I miss him so much it was just so hard to hear him on the voice Mail saying he was ready to go I’m just heartbroken 
Thankyou for your kind words it means a lot it’s all to much really I miss him so much I could not have wished for a better husband I was so lucky and 5 weeks later I lost my only brother everything at the moment is to much but it’s a comfort to know people care so thankyou
Karen I am so sorry for your loss and like everyone in this community it is dealing with the pain, total sadness and that our soulmates have left us . I lost my wife of 34 years two weeks today and I struggle at everything I do. I took our dog for a walk earlier and cried for most of it . I try the one minute at a time routine but my mind races to all sorts of deep sad places . The funeral is one week tomorrow and I had a panic attack earlier about facing Sallys coffin in the crematorium. I have no family (step daughter who lives 2.5 hours away but has her own partner and life to live), step son has completely abandoned me(not unexpectedly as he is an alcoholic with his own demons) but I am lucky I have a few friends in the village that drop in from time to time). But it’s the tiny conversations and cloak of warmth and affection that Sally placed over me each day is gone and I miss her so much. This grief is unbearably heavy and I struggle under the weight. Sharing on here is good I just wish it would lighten and I understand I am very early in my grief but having been given the news in February that secondary tumers were showing I had feeling that this would not be good. The 20 days of end of life care at home with me and my step daughter who was fantastic during this period I feel I have been grieving for a long time sometimes with hope but when Sally finally passed I have been utterly devastated and just want the load to lighten a little . I feel I am as zombie. Sorry I didn’t mean to go on in fact I thought I might stay off the site today to see if that helps in any way. I failed !
I’m am so so sorry for your loss it’s totally unbearable I thought time would help but for me it’s not gone that way the funeral was so very hard I just grabbed hold of his coffin and didn’t want to let it go but I had to I am lucky I have two beautiful daughters and two grandchildren who Steve absolutely loved to death I didn’t believe in after life but when I fetched Steve home on February 14 valentine day I put him on my sideboard with his army status as he was a veteran and when I went to bed that night he had a sensory light by his bed and only works with movement that light kept going on and off three times nobody there then my doorbell keeps ringing nobody there my phone ringing nobody there I keep getting a smell of his aftershave no aftershave in the house so I totally believe Steve is sending me these things to let me know he’s ok I know you probably think I’m just imagining this but I’m not it’s totally true so I hope your wife is with you at all times and gives you the comfort that you need at this time please take care x
Karen, so sorry for the loss of your husband.
These experiences we are all going through are really heartbreaking 
I lost my wife on the 8th March and it’s a struggle to get through the days, but get through them, we must for the sake of our families and ourselves.
You look after yourself. 
So sorry for your loss I hope time gives you a little healing for you I am thinking and praying for you take care x
Thanks Karen.
Not a day goes past without a flood of tears, as we both know. 
Take care. 
So very true I get so uncontrollable crying it’s unbearable you must be the same for you she’s looking down after you just like my husband
Today was another very bad day for me, I have been picking photographs ,or her celebration of life in the church. with my step daughter of 43 who is really struggling like me. but she live 2.5 hours away and has gone back. I wish she could have stayed but she has her own life. Fantastic photographs but I feel absolutely drained from a full day of uncontrollable floods of tears again. One of my fabulous neighbours dropped in , more floods of tears. Funeral next Tuesday and I am having panic attacks wondering if I can face the coffin and the crematorium.
This despair, hurt and pain is really destroying me, I live alone, which probably does not help. I have to wonder about what the point of carrying on. I feel like I am going mad and loosing total control, this surely has to subside at some point. I would really like a break from this utterly destroying heartache. Sorry for going on I am really struggling. Big hugs to all of you in similar positions.
My heart breaks for you I was the same as u don’t know if I could face the funeral but I did it was the most worse day of my life I also live alone but I suppose I’m lucky I have two wonderful daughters who are there for me but I don’t like burden them as they have lost there dad as well I know they tell me that I can talk to them and there here for me but it’s not fair on them so I don’t my sisters say he’s here with you always or he’s looking down on you but really it’s just something people say when they don’t know what else to say but it really doesn’t help nothing will when you have loved your partner for over 47 years and now left alone I just hope we try to find peace take care look after yourself make sure you eat 
I hope so Karen
I try to be strong and make her proud but usually break down in tears asking her for help in trying to get through these heartbreaking days
Hello Karen
I also lost my husband in January. I wish I had a voicemail to listen to but I have other recordings so I am lucky. It all feels so surreal and now I have moved somewhere new which doesn’t feel right. We were in a rental because we had sold our lovely family home where we had all our good times. Moving is so difficult especially unpacking all the memories of our life together. I am in the same area so friends have been supportive. But nobody quite understands how you feel.
I am sorry for your loss and hope you have lots of support. The sadness comes in waves and overtakes you without warning.
Thankyou for your response I hope u are getting support as well it’s just so hard every day we all miss him so much I’m glad you have recordings of your husband and I hope it helps take care x
I lost my husband in January and feel its getting harder .
Im at the point were i feel everyone is moving onand i cant x
I understand how you feel. It seems to everyone that it’s 6 months ago now and we should be feeling better. No way - I think things get worse as time passes. We just have to go on but I don’t really want to without my darling.
Take care of yourself - it’s comforting to know there are people like us out there.
Rose and JAH, They are getting on with their lives because their loss is much less than yours and they do not understand your loss. It took me a good year before I noticed that I was starting to manage my grief. I will never be the same as I will always miss my Elizabeth and never stop loving her. But by being grateful the 53 years that we had together and keeping those happy memories, and trying to leave the sadness behind. I am adjusting to this new way of life, Not as good but tolerable. I am sure that life will become less devastating for you in the future. Sending you both a big hug, like from your brother.
There isnt an answer is there .
One day i want company another day i dont .im still working which helps .
But my friends are all with their partners so dont understand.
I just hope this time next year i can enjoy life more .at the moment theirs no pleasure x