My husband passed away a week ago,I’m devastated how do I carry on
I’m so sorry, you’ve lost your lovely husband, you will be in such shock, it’s just tiny steps, that pass the time at first. Do you have family or friends to support you? I lost my husband 7 weeks ago and at the beginning I was only existing for my children. They were, and still are, my purpose to keep getting up each day. You are in the right place for support, I have found this forum a refuge in the last few weeks, knowing I am not, and you are not alone, take care xx
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I have my son and daughter helping me,I can’t stop crying it was such a shock
Hello Christine38. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. It’s a grief that can’t be explained to anyone unless they’ve experienced it. My husband died suddenly 5 weeks ago. For the first three days I was in shock, just sitting in his chair and feeling numb. I couldn’t eat or think straight. I lost a stone in weight and only got out of bed because there were people around me. I don’t remember much about the first week or so except that it felt surreal. I then found myself talking to him, imagining what he would say to me in reply. I now feel as if I am carrying him around with me all the time in my heart. The physical pain in my chest is still there and I’m trying to work out what to do now that my future has changed completely. I do know that this community has helped greatly knowing I’m not the only one to feel this incredible depth of grief. Please know that each and every one of us wish you peace and comfort.
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Dear Christine
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband . A week is no time at all for you even to have started processing it. A week after my partner died I was in shock and became a robot, just going through the motions of everything.
Please know that you’re amongst people who understand here. It feels like the hell and the heartbreak will never get any better but they will. Please just go hour by hour and day by day, and expect nothing else of yourself at the moment. Try to get some sleep each night, and if you can’t sleep please speak to your GP. I’m glad that you have your children supporting you. I hope that you have a good friend too. The shock and pain is awful and we all understand it. Nearly 4 months since Sunny died and I’ve visited here often. Just reading how others feel really does give me some comfort.
Lots of love to you.
Sophie x
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My husband had emergency surgery 5weeks ago,visited him every day ,warned he may not survive he was on a ventilator so couldn’t talk to me It was like being on a roller coaster sometimes good news then dreadful news when the doctors took hope away,finally told there wasn’t any hope,We stayed with him as he passed away, I feel like my life has ended we were married for 51 years,l to feel physical pain,I can’t function
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Yes the physical pain is horrendous- I really understand it- physical pain in your heart and like your insides have been ripped up, like nothing you’ve ever experienced. 51 years is a very long time and I’m so sorry for your pain.
Let other people help you function just now. Try to have a little something to eat when people offer it to you, try and rest a little and do see you GP. Just get from hour to hour for now.
Lots of love
Sophie x
Thankyou,it’s so hard to eat anything can’t be bothered,my family are helping,wish I could sleep,have been busy organising his funeral want to do the best I can for him,I can’t imagine life without him it feels like torture
I managed to sleep a little but waking up to the reality my wonderful husband isn’t here is breaking my heart ,I can’t cope without him don’t know what to do,my heart is breaking I need him so badly
Yes its horrendous isn’t it, that waking up each morning when the reality of it hits you again? We don’t want that reality, and the feelings it brings out are very difficult. I have felt very angry, envious of couples, lost and abandoned, angry with him for dying, and heartbroken for my loss and the loss of “us”… Throughout the last few weeks, the one thing that has helped me is having company. I’m much better when distracted by family or friends, and keeping physically busy such as making myself have a daily walk, even when I can’t be bothered (especially when I can’t be bothered). I’ve just started swimming again I know he’d be glad I’m doing that again. I do believe that he’s keeping an eye on me as I start my journey without him, and that’s a comfort to me.
It’s very very early days in your journey Christine. Just put one foot in front of the other, keep loved ones close and never apologise for how you’re feeling.
Love to you and all of us
Sophie x
Thankyou Sophie x