In 45 mins it will be my husbands 50th Birthday and I don’t know how I am going to get through the day. We had so many plans we were going to go to Portmerion with my sister and his mum. The prisoner was one of his favourite programs and for his birthday he asked for a blazer like they wore in the show. That was typical of my eccentric, beautiful husband; instead me and my sister will go and take some balloons and let them off in his memory . A day that should of been one of celebration isn’t anymore. Apart from my heart breaking all over again I feel so much anger at the unfairness of it all and just dreading the day without him 
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Hi Lisfin,
I really feel for you and agree about the unfairness of things. I hope the day is as good as it can be for you.
I also lost my soulmate suddenly in November 2021, its my Birthday soon and then in June its Petes 60th, last year when I was 60 we couldn’t do anything because of Covid and were planning to have a joint celebration.
I am dreading it now. I also feel very angry at how such a great man has been so cruelly taken away.
I really hate this path we’ve been forced to take.
Thinking of you and sending you strength and love to get through the day.
Muldool
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It just doesn’t make sense does it, Thank you I know they say all the firsts are the hardest. Yes we were so supposed to go away last year as well, Neil’s mum lives in Scotland and she was supposed to come down but she never got chance to see him. Yes my birthday and our anniversary are in June.
This is the cruelest path of all, we will never get over this I hate being a widow. Thank you love to you too Lisa zxx
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Hi Lisfin
I’m so sorry, I know how you feel it is my husbands birthday next Thursday, the first since he died he would have been 49. I’m dreading it, I really don’t know what to do. I am supposed to be working but have taken the day off, the kids will be at school and I shall be alone. I’m glad you are still going with your sister and hope the day passes play for you. I feel angry also, so very angry and sad and deep down so lonely without him xx
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Thank you yes the loneliness is the worst. Try not to be alone on his birthday, it will be hard for you but you will get through it. Take care 
xxx
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Thinking of you all we lost our husbands too soon it’s so hard take care xx
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Hi hope you manage to get through the day . I know how you feel it is so hard it was my hubby birthday just before Xmas . We took some balloons to beach and let them go . It was a very cold and wet day .and so so miserable like my heart . I don’t know how we manage to live each day without them . I’m thinking of you xtake carex
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Hello there, @Lisefin,
Just checking in to see how you are doing - I hope today was as ok as it could have been. And in honour of your husband’s love of The Prisoner, be seeing you. x
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Thank you , yes I managed to get through it. We went to the beach also and let of some balloons and my heart broke all over again. I know I hate this life as am sure you do too. Thinking of you too take care xx x
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Hi Vancouver thank you, I got through the day we went to portmerrion and let some balloons of at the beach . Lots of tears and emotions . Take care Lisa xx
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Hi your probably exhausted from all the emotions today but will probably not be able to sleep . I think this is getting harder and harder every day . I also hate this life. It’s 7months tomorrow since my hubby died and I miss and love him more everyday . I feel like all I’m living for is waiting to die so I am with him again. Don’t know when or if ever this pain will stop xtake care x
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Sleep is a thing of the past sadly. Yes it is getting harder I hate waking up everyday without Neil and pray each night I don’t. I am so sorry I know how you feel its such a horrible life isn’t it? It will be 5 months on Tuesday since I lost Neil. Some days it feels like yesterday then others feels like a life time. I hope you will have people around you tomorrow not that I makes it any easier of course. Yes I just want to lie with Neil every second of the day just like you do. I was talking to a friend of mine who lost her husband 12 years ago, I asked her please tell me it gets better her reply was I would be lying if I said yes but you do learn to adapt to a new way of living but I don’t know if I even want that. I will be thinking of you tomorrow take care love Lisa xx
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Hi every day feels the same it hurts so much. Sometimes I just want to be on my own .xtake carex
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