I lost my darling wife Linda 16 months ago in December 2020. We had been together for 50 fantastic years and married for 47 of them. Linda was born in Edinburgh Scotland and her whole family moved to Hampshire when she was about 8 years old. I’m a Yorkshire lad.
The first few weeks up to the funeral were rather numbing and upsetting, kept very busy sorting things out. Up to the funeral my daughter had been staying with me and we were a comfort to each other. Christmas was really hard Linda used to always organize the Christmas festivities and do the invites and cards etc., and I was completely lost.
After the funeral when everything calmed down this for me became the worst and hardest time, at this time I would have given anything to have been able to join Linda, also this was the time when I started to reflect and go back down memory lane, about the time we met, it wasn’t planned we were introduced to each other by an army friend and his wife, Linda was 17, and I was 20 and not looking for love or any commitments because I was in the army, but it happened, and it was the best thing in my life meeting her. Looking back on things was very distressing and painful; lots of tears and heartache, my daughter and I would set each other off for the seemingly smallest thing, a song, a picture, a thought. I hated coming home to an empty and lifeless home this went on for about 6 months.
12 months later things are looking a little brighter, I can look back with fond memories of the life we shared together, look at photos and smile with fondness, and remember those perfect days we shared together. She gave me 2 beautiful children a boy and a girl whom we both adore and love, I go out with my daughter twice a week and my son calls down 2 to 3 times a week. I still hate coming home to an empty house.
I still love and miss my Linda very much and I always will, the tears still come out of the blue for no apparent reason. The other week I found the letters we had written to each other whilst I was in the army, that didn’t half bring back some long forgotten beautiful memories, although we were apart a lot in the early years I think this made our bond together stronger. I find solace and calmness when I visit the cemetery where she is buried I go about twice a week with fresh flowers.
I’m not yet sure if I would like a companion to share my life with, but if it’s going to happen then it will. We talked about this subject Linda was adamant she didn’t want or need anyone else; I couldn’t make my mind up but she was happy for me to do so.
I’m just so very glad Linda doesn’t have to go through this horrible experience, even though she was a much stronger person than me, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Everyone keep strong out there I know it’s hard. Sorry about the length of this posting have reduced it as much as possible.
I wrote this about 7 weeks ago but decided not to post it, I still miss her very much and it’s very hard carrying on without her.