It’s so hard in so many ways nobody could ever prepare you. It’s been 2 years now, my poor children. They were 14 15 and 17 when my husband passed. He had brain cancer for 5 1/2 years. I did my best they gave him 6 months to live and I went psycho with research. I feel so guilty that I wasn’t always there for my children trying to keep my husband alive a reasoned with the fact that they were healthy and doing okay and I would provide for them I didn’t ignore them but I just feel guilty that they didn’t have the 100% mom involved. I tried to help their father survive. I don’t have enough space to post everything that I’m feeling right now. I’m on a cruise with my two youngest and they’re so mean to me now and I know it’s directly related to my husband passing. I used to run a tight ship and all my kids were so respectful and good and after my husband passed I let the boys get away with more and more. If they see I’m upset they will come up to me and give me a hug ask me if I need anything if I’m okay. But they fight with each other constantly mouthy to me. They never ever were like this before. They are super kind to everybody else though. I’m just so sad. I’m lonely. I met somebody and now I feel guilty. I only served so much of my feelings for my husband and now I’ve closed up because you don’t want to burden my new friend. I don’t burn in the family, or any social people I know. My husband was everything to me. He was my best and only friend. I’m not close to my family. (I’m not referring to my children) I know it was never meant to be alone. I loved being a wife. It was everything to me I was made to be a wife. I don’t think I’ll ever meet anybody that can help me feel okay again. My middle child is a very shy and the word emotional person and took all of this internally. He’s been to three different counselors and still has not resolved. I know that his sadness and depression has turned to anger now. It kills me. Because most of the stress and sadness in our household now because he likes to stir it up and make everybody else angry and sad. I’m so broken I don’t know how to continue I just don’t.
Hello @Cynsea ,
I’m so sorry to read about your husband. It sounds like things are really difficult for you and your children as your navigate through your grief.
I just wanted to reach out to thank you for sharing so honestly and to let you know there is lots of other support out there. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. The following website might help you find support services closer to home: https://help.befrienders.org/
You deserve care and support, @Cynsea - keep on reaching out.
Take care,
Alex
@Cynsea
I only just saw your post. How are things now?
One thing I picked up is how your kids are kind to everyone else, but at times not to you. Teens are notoriously difficult, my girl was a nightmare aged 12 to 17, but at 21 she’s my best friend once again. Yours obviously know how to behave as you have taught them well, this earlier teaching won’t be lost, believe me. They will come back to you. As they mature they will realise what you have been, and are going, through. X