My life 2 years on

It will be 2 years on 12th August you left me although you tried so hard to stay.
How’s my life changed since that awful day.
At the beginning i would wake up with a heavy heart and call your name, now i wake and look at your photo beside my bed and wish you was still lying next to me.
I see your mug in cupboard next to mine and at the beginning i would make you a cupper and then remember your not here.
I get dressed and try to keep busy but its very exhausting and drains by energy.
I visit your grave and bring you fresh flowers, you would buy me flowers every week now I’m doing it for you my sweetheart.
My life was so happy, now I’m just a shell of my former self. Just going through the motion’s to get through the day.
I miss watching our programmes together and talking about our day.
2 years is nothing considering we had 30 years together.
I still cry myself to sleep hugging your pillow. I have your aftershave in the draw and just get it out to smell it, it takes me back to happy times. All i have now are pictures of your beautiful smiling face and 30 years of memories oh i wish i could see you and tell you what you have missed.
Only today i saw a classic car and thought how much you would have loved to have seen it.
I got upset today on visiting your grave someone had taken your vase off your grave and put it on their’s with flowers in it i thought about what you would have said to them and it wouldn’t have been nice, i have to say i took there flowers out and brought vase home i was so angry bloody cheek of some people.
I miss your laugh and your wicked sense of humour.
It may be 2 years my darling but feels like yesterday my life has changed so much and to think i might be like this for another 20 years is unbearable.


I feel exactly like you, it’s been almost 3 years, and I still fold her nightie and put it under her pillow every day. I just want to hold her tight in my arms. Fortunately, I haven’t yet had your experience with the vase, and I go to see her often.
Everyone tells me that it will get better, not seen much evidence of it yet.