I would like to say hello to all , I have lost my partner of 22 years , it was very sudden , that was 4 weeks ago , at the moment I look at a photo or see her clothing and I just break down I have never felt so much pain in my life ever , she was only 50 I can not get that out my head lots are saying they know how I feel but I don’t think they can she was more then my partner she is my soul mate I could tell what she was about to say before she said it and she could do the same we became almost as one , and now I can not see past that point I love and miss her so much thank you for listening
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Hello Brian s welcome to the club you never wanted to join. Firstly my deepest condolences on your loss. I lost my husband in February 2016 and although I am 13 months down the line I won’t pretend it gets easier because it doesn’t it’s a testament to your love so everything will hurt for a time and you will probably feel so profoundly sad and lost which is normal. I can’t really offer solutions to help you on this journey unfortunately we each have to find our own way through but know that you are not alone and there are some lovely souls on this site who are going through the same as you which may at least offer you some comfort and practical advice. Take care xx
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Hi Brian. I m very sorry for your loss.I lost my partner just over 8 weeks ago. It was a terrible shock as i found him. In all honesty some days are worse now than at first
but there are good days too. I keep a set of his clothes on my bed at night
we had planned to do so much in the nice weather and now its here its hard to find the motivation alone
No one can truelly understand the pain and anguish of losing a partner unless they experience it themselves
And they say that time is a great healer but we all grieve differently
You are not alone. I hope you find the support from those in this group helpful. Take care.
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Hello,
Brian sorry for your loss, I too lost my wife six months ago in November 2016.
She was 49 years old and it was sudden.
I have three teanage kids aged b17, ,18, 20.
I miss her so much, she was my rock and we where a togeather couple, relying on each other, sharing all the chores that life throws at one.
As time passes I have found it gets harder to cope, six months into my journey I’m struggling to cope, I’m on my own and try to get by each day the best we can.
At times the pain is excruciating at other times I try to keep busy by doing the household chores like cooking, cleaning, etc .We where a together couple and relied on each other, now I miss her guidance, advice where paperwork is concerned, having to deal with issues which affect us all on this site.Dealing with my wife’s affairs.
I know and can relate to what your going through Brian, we both now share our partners sentiments as others have posted on this site.
I have found it helpful knowing that where not alone suffering with our loss.
Ravinder.
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Thank you Ravinder, and I am sorry for yours. Yes so many feeling the way we do . I keep my self busy but I also have quite times just to sit and think I try not to look back but forward. Thinking of ways I can celebrate her life and my luck of finding someone like her , a lot of people never get the chance to love or be loved for that I am so grateful one thing that keeps me going is I was with her right to the last moment of her life , so I just sat holding her hand and talking to her I told her I loved her and little things we used to say to each other , about 20 mins or so after she passed I felt this over welming feeling of a smile from her so much so that I smiled back at her and said .You had me scared for a while but now I know you are at peace with that the door opened as the rest of the family turned up to say good bye . The feeling I had just had will never leave me she helped me again for the last time, it was not a physical smile I know that but just the feeling , I also know the love that we share can never end it only gets stronger that is what helps me . Try to find things that gets you closer to her it might help you take care of your family as this is her gift to you god bless and be safe
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Hi Amelia , thank you I am also sorry for your loss, I try to look at it fin a different way yes I cried and cried till my tears ran out , but then I thought what if the roles were reversed and it was me looking down at her seeing her so full of pain and sadness how would I feel not being able to comfort her or tell her it will be ok , but if I looked down and seen her doing the best she can and smile now and then I would think that’s my girl she will be ok so now I can rest in peace just knowing that god bless and take care x
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Thank you;
Brian understand I too said my goodbyes to my wife before the families arrived, she was in hospital for ten days but never woke up, all sorts of life supporting machinery kept her supported assisting her . I dreadfully miss her, I talk to her every day and I go out for long walks in the evenings talking out to her aloud, remembering the times we shared togeather.
I know when my time comes BAL will come for me.
Thanks.
Ravinder
Hi Brian. Thank you for your kind reply
I can understand what you mean because Steve would not want to see me upset crying and falling apart (all of which i have done) as when he was alive we always tried to support each other through difficult times
He d want me to be happy. I m lucky in that i now have his dog for company so as strange as it may sound i feel a part of him is always with me as he adored his dog as i do. I am going to try to find the motivation to take him to a lovely place where Steve and i used to spend happy times tomorrow. Take care. Sending you hugs. x
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Hi you don’t sound strange at all do what you feel helps you in small steps at first until you feel ok , then enjoy the peace it will give you I go walking where we had walked but first time I did it , it hurt to much I had to return home but I won’t give up just in small steps hope it helps and thank you for your hug and one in return for you
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Hi I understand and yes she will but not for a long time , you have to much to do for her , every time you see something new she will to , she will be right beside you be as strong as you can and show her the things you see the sunshine the birds busy with there young all the things that spring has to offer take care and look after yourself
Hi Brian, Im so sorry to hear of your loss. She must have been a wonderful person, for you to love her so much and I guess she was lucky to have you too.
I dont think it gets easier, you just have no choice but to get on with life. Some memories will make you cry and some will make you smile, and who knows eventually even make you laugh. I think its important to just go with the flow and if you feel like crying, then dont feel guilty have a good cry.
I hope you feel better soon, and at least find some happiness in the future
Candy
Hi and thank you for taking the time , yes she was a wonderful person in every way . I try to see it now in a different light I was so lucky to have loved her , and her to have loved me in return , some never get that chance , so I am counting my blessings and it helps me in many ways . And yes you are right about crying I would cry when ever I felt it and if asked why I would say because I love my soul mate , look around you and if you have the same , hold them dearly to your heart take care and thanks