My loss

This is my first posting since I lost my son. He died in a tragic accident, completely out of the blue half way through his university course, living independently away from home. He was the most kind, beautiful hearted boy you could ever meet, had found his feet and I was so proud of him. He was only 22 years old.
He had the makings of an amazing man, husband, father as he was a wonderful brother and son.
It is close coming up to the first anniversary of his death and J am broken. I have family and friends that look out for me, a community that is understanding but I really do not know how I am still breathing as his loss is all consuming. I did speak to a lovely lady on a helpline only a couple of months after his death and she when pressed: after a year she herself had to decide to move forward as she couldn’t carry on with how sad she was. This has been helpful but I have the weight of my loss in every fibre of my being and realise I am forever now going to be this sad person completely altered from what my son would recognise. I miss him so much, nothing will ever be the same.

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I’m so sorry. I also lost my son - he was 23 and my only child. He took his own life and it was completely unexpected and shocking. It was 13 years ago and I have learned how to live again and even feel happy. I have done so many things since his death. I went to University and have raised thousands for suicide prevention charities by doing sponsored walks. I run a support group for parents who have lost a child to suicide which helps me a lot. I found the first anniversary absolutely terrible so I hope when that’s behind you you can slowly find some peace and healing. It is so devastating but nothing will bring them back and I feel my son wouldn’t want me to feel miserable for the rest of my life. Of course I feel terribly sad but am determined to live the best life I can and I hope you can in time. I joined a choir and got a puppy and both helped me find some joy in life again.

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