My lovely lovely mum passed away on the 9th of September. She was 93 and haf a great life. She had carers go in 4 tomes a day. One the 9th the carer got mum up, showered her and got her sat in her chair. She then went to got mums medication. As she return to the living room mum was slumped over and deathly pale. The carer shook her and called her name. Aa mum never responded She called 999. She then called my sister who called me. My sister and I spent lots of time with my mum and we looked after her well. We both left and said to the carer we would go straight to the hospital. We both arrived at the same time and mum wasn’t there yet. We waited at the ambulance bay.
An ambulance came in and we asked the paramedics if it was our mum. He told us to step away. We moved back a bit but saw them wheel her out and one was doing cpr on her. We were put in a room for 20 mins, seemed forever. Eventually a doctor and a nurse came to say unfortunately mum had passed away. We got to sit with her and called our families to come. The nurse said she passed from sepsis. We questioned this and she said if we did they woukd do a pm, and if they did we woukd find out her ribs where broken during cpr. They gave us a bag if clothes that had been cut right down the middle.
We sat for a while then went home heartbroken. We organised the funeral which would be 2 weeks tome. So 10 day later my sister and i went to view mum in the funeral parlour. We had a terrible experience. Mum never wore any make up and we had said no to this. Her hair was always soft and fluffy. She didn’t look anything like herself. Hair flat on her head. Mouth pursed up and nose flat. We were totally shocked. I messed up her hair. The staff were young girls who were not at all caring. We called our families to say its best not to come.
The funeral was so hard, I remember uncontrollable shaking at the graveside.
I stayed off work for 6 weeks. While I was off I was offered a new job. A great opportunity. So I went back to work and explained to my boss. He was great and agreed it was a good move. So I was working my last 2 weeks. Countless times I cried in the bathroom. Yesterday I had a panic attack and my manager sat with me for a while. We both agreed as I now only have one week left I should leave and prepare myself for new job.
I dont know how to. I dont know how to live without my mum… I know she was 93. I know she passed quickly but I just miss her so much. We both have a lifetime of great memories but struggle without her. I cant imagine anyone go through this on their own.
So I guess I’m asking for advice on how to move forward. I cant start a new job and spend it in the toilet crying!
I need to get well.
Hello Ruggiegirl
I am so sorry for your loss. I am new to this myself I cant give you much advice but I feel like I’m just bumble through each day and typing on here just keep reaching out xxx you are not alone we have good moments and bad days but we are all struggling to come to terms with our loss I hope you find comfort here one minute one hour one day at a time breath and talk or type we are always here for you and your family xxx
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