Hi all,
My first post here, I lost my beloved Chris on 05/03/23 he was 47, no warning, nothing.
I’m lost without him. I’ve been reading some of your stories and realised I’m not alone in this but it is so lonely, the future feels scary and I feel so vulnerable.
I am a struggling every day, it’s been almost 11weeks , it feels like an eternity but also a flash of time. Can’t quite get my mind to engage with reality , everything seems to trigger me, I’m full of sorrow and rage.
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That is young, I thought it was bad enough when I lost my Keef and he was only 63. I lost him on 11th February, sometimes it feels like an eternity other times it feels like yesterday. I just try and negotiate each day as it comes and hope that one day I’ll feel a bit better. I’ve got two cats now which means that I don’t come home to any empty house but it will never be the same. Feelings range from despair, anger and really deep sorrow, all we can do is think of how they would want us to be.
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It is lonely and scary. I just take each day, almost minute by minute. Coming up to 4 months now. I’ll read these posts, I’ll do a crossword, then maybe some cross stitch. The garden needs work but I can’t shift myself to do it. It’s a total mess now. I don’t care. The house is a tip. I don’t care. I just do whatever I can, minute by minute. Sometimes that involves going back to bed in the afternoons. I only tend to get dressed if someone is likely to see me. Today it’s the dog walker at 1.30. I can’t walk the dog myself, bad knees, poor mobility . I’ll maybe get dressed about half 12. I’ve even answered the door in my dressing gown as there are days I can’t see the point of getting dressed.
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@Blue4 sorry for your loss. It’s been nearly 7 weeks for me and I have really bad days and not so bad days when I can go through the motions. It still seems surreal. I’m struggling with the lack of a future we had planned. I feel totally overwhelmed doing everything on my own. This forum really makes you feel less alone. Hopefully you can get comfort from others on here that are all trying to negotiate this horrible journey. Take care
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@Blue4 I’m so sorry to read that you have lost your husband recently. I lost my husband suddenly at Christmas. I went to work on the Saturday and Sunday I got a call from my son to say that dad had collapsed. Time for got home he was gone. I did CPR on him and scream for him to come back. He was 53 years old. We had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. All our future plans and dreams have gone and his life has been robbed. Could of had another 25/30 years together. Life is indeed unfair and cruel. I wake up every day crying and shouting for him to come back. I feel so guilty that I didn’t know how ill he was and never noticed the weight loss until too late. I am his wife and felt I should of notice. I keep myself busy filling in time seeing friends and just gone back to work for a few hours a week though not the same place as before as just too painful as was my happy place where I would phone John. I also see a counsellor and just started a bereavement support group course. I do hope that you have got support from family and friends. Try and take as much as help as possible. Take care and big hugs xx
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We’re all here for each other.i lost my gorgeous fantastic wife sue on 1st February this year.i have days where i dont want to do anything like take my insulin and tablets but I look at sues photos our two dogs and remember the promise I made to carry on being the person she made me into. Also hear sue telling me that she is watching me and doesn’t want me doing anything stupid as she would kick my backside .were all on the same journey xx
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