My mother demensia

Losing a parent
1

Im not coping with my mothers demensia its like she has died but is still alive i have become so depressed and am in shock .

2

Hello @Suzie6 ,

I’m Alex, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.

  • Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
  • Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.

Alzheimer’s Society offer advice and support to people affected by dementia. You can call their Dementia Support Line free on 0333 150 3456.

I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.

Take good care - you are not alone.

Alex

3

Hi, Suzie6,
Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. I lost my own dear mum to Dementia and experienced the anticipatory grief you mentioned for several years. There’s no solution, but I will share a few things that helped me. I drew a lot of strength from online support groups which were specific to Dementia. There is a lovely, helpful community on reddit. I also found that there were occasional “windows” of time where my mum was her old self. I learned to cherish these brief flashes. I’m not sure if it made any difference but it helped me when I found things that would help her or bring her comfort: searching out old family photos so she could talk about them, finding comfortable, warm clothing, sourcing dementia friendly resources such as a large print, full day calendar. I added family photos for birthdays and illustrated holidays like Halloween. As I say, I’m not sure how much any of this helped her, but it kept me busy and gave me some comfort. Treat yourself kindly and remember you are never alone.