My Mum has terminal cancer

Hi all,

Just wondered if anyone else ia going through this. 6 weeks ago, my Mum went to A&E as she was struggling to talk and they discovered she has lung cancer that has spread to her brain and spine. It’s inoperable but she has started biologocal treatment.
At first, I was OK and felt quite numb but now I’m feeling quiye overwhelmed and struggling with day to day things like work. It’s the uncertainty and the situation has brought about some unexpected feelings and emotions.

I’d love to know how others feel and are coping with this.



Hi Liz,

My husband and I went through a similar situation with his mum last year. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in August and was only given palliative care. When you get news like that, it can indeed be quite overwhelming. It can also make you re-arrange your priorities. You probably want to spend as much time as possible with your mum, and try to do all the things with her that she would like to do. What I found helpful was to contact MacMillan. There is a lot of helpful information on their website, and you can ‘chat’ with a nurse. I hope that your mum will respond well to her treatment and that you will find the support for yourself, and for her, that you are looking for. It is good that you have joined this online community. There are many people on here who can understand what you are going through. Jo

Hi Jo,

Thanks so much for responding. I’m also sorry that you and your husband have also been through this.

I’ll definitely reach out to Macmillan. Thanks for the advice!

Hi Liz
I lost my Mom to lung cancer 14 months ago she had a month in hospital and then came home for 4 months
MacMillan nurses supported us at home and they were amazing

I suffered panic attacks and severe anxiety
my Mom was so brave and strong and I did everything I could to not get upset in front of her
although this all flooded out when she passed away
all I can say is spend as much time as you can with her and however bad you feel it will get better
believe me

Hi Tess,

That must’ve been awful and really sad. Thanks for replying to me.

I’ve just sent a message to my local Macmillan group. Thanks for the advice.

It’s sad hearing that others have been through this but also comforting that you’re ok and plodding on. Nothing else really seems to matter anymore and I’m trying to be with her as much as possible. The uncertainty of not knowing how much longer she has is the worst!


having gone through it myself it sounds like you are doing all the right things
take care
ask me anything ill be on here x

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Hi Liz,

I am so sorry to hear that you and your mum are going through this.

Have you maybe tried ringing a helpline to talk through some of your unexpected feelings and emotions? I know of the anne robson trust for example who have a helpline for people who are dealing with terminal illness/dying - they helped me a lot. The number is 0808 801 0688 - really good for those moments where you just need to express your feelings to someone who can talk through it with you. Their website has lots of good info too - I really hope that you’re able to find some support that makes things a little easier to cope. Sending lots of love your way Liz.