My mum is dying

Hi. My mum was taken into hospital 10 days ago very ill. We almost lost her on Thursday but she has since rallied, however in the course of their investigations the doctors found growths on her spine. She is too frail to have any treatment. We cannot see her because of covid, we are desperate to get her home so she can be with people who love her and the doctor agrees (well one of them) all she does is ask to come home. The palliative card team have been informed. I just feel like I’m can’t cope. I can’t bear the thought of life without her. I’m having panic attacks and my anxiety is through the roof. I think it’s made worse by the fact we can’t visit her. I just don’t know what to do and scared of what is going to happen to her. I don’t want her to be in pain. My dad lives at home but has dementia, and I’m so scared for him also.

Hi. Roo. Welcome. This is probably going to be the worse time in your life, but somehow you will find the strength to cope. We always do. You have so much to handle and it may seem overwhelming at the moment. Everyone here knows and understands. You are among friends. Anxiety will so often accompany such events. Have you seen your GP? If you don’t want medication they can often help. Have you any faith? Not necessarily religious faith but faith in the fact that love can overcome all things. Giving love can ease a burden and maybe allow you to see that life events happen, and so often we have no control over them. If you can get your mum home it may help her because we always feel safer in our own environment. But be sure you can cope with the added strain. What can any of us say? My heart goes out to you as do my prayers and Blessings. John.

Thank you John. I’m not religious but I do believe in love. We are being really messed about by the hospital, one minute she’s coming home the next they put another obstacle in the way. I’m just so exhausted trying to get her home

Hi Rob,

Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through, it’s heartbreaking that you can’t visit due to COVID, it’s such a cruel time to be going through this at normal times , but because of Covid, it is so much more cruel.
I am going through similar, my stepdad has terminal liver, kidney and lymph node can er , last couple of days left now.
You will find the strength to cope somehow, you will find it to help your dad . I can’t tell you how , or that it will be easy, because we know it won’t , just try and take one day at a time , deal only with what needs dealing with on each day, talk to friends and family, lean on them, they will help you through.
Sending you and your dad a hug x

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