My mum had been unwell in hospital for 9 weeks i was there pretty much everyday an now she is gone ive got no siblings it was just me an her i just feel heartbroken an lost its my first night back home and the house feels empty im so heartbroken
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Hello, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum passing. I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart but at the moment it will all seem too much. I’m sitting at home scrolling through these pages to try to connect with other people who are experiencing grief following the passing of a loved one.
My lovely Mum left this world on the 27th December. Funeral last Friday. I just want her back. Haven’t been able to face work but need to return soon. I hope you find some peace soon. All I hope for is that our Mums are watching us and feeling proud to be our Mums. The bond is still there and our Mums will always be our Mums regardless. Take care and remember all the good memories….
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Hi Celtickelly,
My heart goes out to you. I am thinking of you and like you I too lost my mum . Being in the house without her is truly awful as I have spent many nights at my mums house. There are no words of comfort that I can give you because the whole situation is shattering. Please keep posting on here as there are lovely people on here going through the same as you and even though no one can change anything for you we can certainly respond to your messages with love and support. Thinking of you
Deborah x
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Hi Julest,
Just read your post and wanted you to know I am thinking of you. My mum passed on Dec 30th and we held her funeral on Feb 6th. I understand what you are going through and have no words to help you through all this except keep posting . This site has helped me so much. I agree I hope my mum is watching over me and my family because I really need her to. She was my absolute life and I am struggling getting my head round that I will never see her again. It doesn’t seem real.
Am here if you ever need a chat
Deborah x
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Hi Deborah,
Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot. Mum was living with Alzheimer’s and we were hoping she would bounce back from an infection she picked up on the 21st December. I will never forget the phone call on the 27th to say she had passed. Just like that. The hospital told us earlier that morning they were looking to discharge later that day ( back to care home) as she was rallying. I thought the nurse was calling me to check discharge times etc. What do you do when when one of your worst fears has happened? Everybody is being really supportive and tbh I have had a few surprises a long the way. I have certainly discovered who my true friends and family are. Not a single message of condolence or contact from my sister in law ( who I thought we were relatively close) and others have truly surprised me with their kindness. I’m sure you have similar anecdotes. I hope you are doing ok. I know everybody experiences loss differently and I don’t know how you are feeling but I know you must be hurting and missing your Mum. I was so lucky to have such a wonderful Mum and although she was nearly 81 I still feel it was too soon. I hope you have a good support network and family around you. Or pets. My rescue cat Diesel keeps me smiling. Is really comforting to talk to people on this page.
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Hi Julest
Thanks for replying My mum was 89 and I still wanted more time with her. Yes very true You soon will find out who your real friends are and yes i have had a few shocks surprises whatever you want to call them . Best thing is to put yourself first My mum always said to me not to worry about people who dont worry and me and she was so so true
Thinking of you and am here anytime you want to message me or pm me ok
Deborah x
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Good evening,
Just a quick email to see how you are doing? We always want more time and it truly doesn’t matter how old a person is - the loss is still the same. Both my grandmothers lived until 89 and in my mind my mother had another 8 years or so. How are you doing? I felt better last week but seem sadder over the last couple of days. Do you find this is the case for you? I’m back at work on a staggered return but really struggling. I’m even thinking of a career change to help me navigate these waters. ( I’m a social worker) and desperately feel in need of an intervention myself. I hope you have a good support network around you to get you through these sad times. X
Hi Julest,
I am okish. Still crying a lot every day. I suddenly remember things my mum said and i am in floods of tears . I had planned so much more for us and now i am struggling so much to get through each day without her.
I have my husband who is brilliant and a 27yr old son but he works away most of the time When he is home i put a brave face on but its just a shield.
I dont work now as am retired thank goodness because I could never have worked like this. All I want sometimes is to stay in bed or be alone.
I am trying so hard to do a few jobs around the house Cant even venture out at the moment.
Hope you are ok and i too am thinking of you
Deborah x
Hi Deborah, Glad you have a family around you. It must be hard for our partners too seeing us like this. I’m 50 with one grown up son and an 11 year old daughter - she misses her grandma immensely but like you say, I also try and shield my feelings from her as she seems to be better when I am positive etc. I also wish I could stay in bed. I’ve gone back to Zumba but had a set back when somebody told me it was glad to see I was over it and back exercising ! Umm. What can you say to that. ?? The endorphins help but they don’t last long. I don’t ever think I will be over it . And that’s ok. I don’t want to be over it. I loved and love my Mum and that won’t change. I just wish I could pick up the phone and hear her voice. Xx
Hi Julest,
That is exactly it. I don’t want to get over it ever. Why do people say these things That’s why I don’t want to go out. It would be impossible to bear if someone said that to me . Someone texted me today to ask how was I now that it was all over. What are they talking about It is only just starting!!!
Thinking of you
Deborahx
Hi Julest
I find the people who ask (or don’t ask) if you’re better, tend to be either ones who haven’t lost their parents or who didn’t have a very good relationship with them. I feel sorry for them not to have experienced the unconditional love I shared with my mum or hope they have more understanding people around them when sadly they lose their parents. To be honest, I didn’t understand the full extent of grief until I lost Mum.
The hardest thing for me is the one person who would have understood this … was Mum and she’s not here.
Thank you its been a couple of weeks now im so up an down one minute ok the next tears haven’t had her funeral as yet xxx
It’s such early days for you, easy to say but try to take time for yourself, to heal. I’ve learnt, and you’ll see on this site, that grief really does hot you in waves so what you’re feeling is normal. Thinking of you .