My mum passed away

I lost my beautiful, brave mum on Dec 28th.
My sister and I had a traumatic few weeks before she died watching her slowly fade away and trying desperately to get her out of hospital.
We did get her home eventually and she passed six days later. It’s her funeral on Monday (16th).
I feel completely traumatised and exhausted by the events of the last few weeks and feel so guilty that she spent so long in hospital, she hated it.
I look at videos I have of my mum and just can’t believe that I’m never going to see or talk to her again. I actually panic when I think about it.
I’m a nurse and I’m signed off sick until 1st Feb but the thought of going back to work fills me with dread. I can’t imagine how I can ever go back to my ‘normal’ life but I know I have to at some point.


Hello @Dib,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. We will be thinking of you on Monday and will be here for you.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

It sounds like your mum’s final weeks were very traumatic for you and your sister. Please do reach out for further support if you feel it could help you through this. You might want to explore some of the below:

Take good care,

Hi Dib,
I also lost my mom on 28th Dec.
It was unexpected and I still don’t think I am fully coming to terms with it.
She is survived by myself and my twin, another brother and my dad who is 87.
Mom got rushed into hospital on 27th Dec with pneumonia and passed away less than 24hrs later.
The funeral is not until 2nd feb and so I am very anxious about the time in between.
I think because I have been arranging a lot since it happened, I haven’t had chance to think/grieve really and so now it’s all catching up.
I had to go back to work on Monday as we only get 5 days compassionate leave, but it’s a real struggle.
Being the only girl in the family, me and mom had such a bond, and I don’t really know how I am going to go on without her x

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Hi, I totally understand how you are feeling. Please take things at your pace and only return to work when you feel
Ready. I lost mum at the end of October and planned to return to work at the beginning of December and couldn’t cope with it so only went back this week. I recognise now I was nowhere near ready to return in December. Be kind to yourself. I could just about get out of bed so baby steps are necessary. Sending you hugs xx


Hi Lucy
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.
I don’t know how you’ve managed to get the strength to go back to work. I had to see my doctor for a sick note. I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet that my mam isn’t coming back. It must be so difficult for you to have to wait so long for her funeral, it’s been dreadful for my family just waiting for three weeks.
Feel free to contact me if you need to chat or vent. We’re all going through such a sad time

Thank you for your kind words Michelle, it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one struggling with the thought of work.
I’m going to take each day as it comes and see how I feel.
I’m so sorry about your mam too.

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Hi Dib,
I lost my mum on Dec 30th so i am so like you. In the throws of grief . Can only just function . Like your mum my mum had been in hosp for 3 weeks and i battled hard to get her out of there. But they had starved her of food for many many days and so she was too weak to recover
i tried my best and I am traumatised and exhausted like you Its such a horrible feeling isn’t it Nothing in my life has ever compared to the awful sadness i feel. I can barely function .Just want to say I have found some comfort in this site so keep posting . I will look out for you. My mums funeral is Feb 6th so like you i have to organise it all and it’s heartbreaking
Deborah x

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So I am still going to work. I am just thinking that’s going will take my mind off things but whist I am at work I’m just trying to put on a brave face and I am not really concentrating on the work. My mind is elsewhere.
I just keep thinking that I never ever thought that 3 days after Christmas I wouldn’t see mom again, I still can’t fathom it, it just doesn’t seem real. I can’t get my head around it.
We have dad living with us at the moment, which I’m grateful for, that I can do. But I feel I have to be strong for him and I’m having to rescind my own feelings. It’s just so hard to know what to do for the best x

I feel the same 5 weeks and my mum was gone Shock was terrible. I am struggling so much I just want her back