My Mum’s Birthday on Christmas Day

It’s 8 months today without my beautiful Mum :broken_heart: days are like rollercoasters, I can start the day positive and even smile then boom! A memory comes to mind I see her picture and I remember she’s not here and more recently the Christmas songs :cry: My Mum would have been 88 years old this Christmas Day~ she still will but she won’t be here surrounded with us all, hugs, kisses, Christmas and birthday wishes to share with her, it’s heartbreaking and I know it’s the first milestones that hit hard. I laid my Christmas flowers for her the other day and I had a wreath custom made as i wanted something beautiful for her on her graveside.
I have a 9.5 year old daughter who misses her Nan and I carry her grief as well as mine. Every gift I’ve wrapped so far I’ve had my Mum with me. It’s just going to be so very hard this Christmas Day. I’m always awake around 7.30-8am Christmas morning but I’ve made a plan in my head to wake at 6am and sit downstairs and have some time by myself and my Mum so I can gather my thoughts and have a talk with her and send Christmas Day birthday love to Heaven. Xxx

Hello, I have now read your post two or three times and I wished I have your forward planning, you are a star and very brave. On Christmas Day I will be thinking of you sat in your kitchen talking to your mum. They say it’s just one day and by the 26 it will all be over and next year, well we worry about that then. Thanks for your post and I hope it gives others the opportunity think ahead. Bless you.

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Hello, thank you for replying~ I guess forward planning fills my mind and gets me set as it’s walking into the unknown and I don’t know how painful it will feel on Christmas morning; not picking the phone up to say “Happy Birthday Mummy” :pleading_face: to not say that to Mum this year and to see her smile back and give a hug well… I just don’t know, the run up is a struggle so the actual day I won’t know until it arrives. I just know I’d like that quiet time in my thoughts before I wake my daughter up to announce that Santa has been.
Thank you for your reply; didn’t think I’d get a response but I thank you and thank you for your lovely words and the thoughts on Christmas morning x