My mum upset me today

Losing a child
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I went to a hospital appointment with her today it took a lot of courage for me to go. She then went onto say she thinks me and the older lads shouldn’t have contact with the hospice my youngest son were involved with when he passed away last march she also said we shouldnt go near the area of the hospice as its making us all worse… (our bereavement counselling is there) i were stunned. My son who passsed away aged 20 used to go to that area to the hospice he loved ut there its our happy place good memories why should we stop going?

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Hi @orchard39,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,
Alex

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Hi - I think it’s your grief and your journey. Do whatever feels right for you. Maybe your mum thought it would help staying away from what she thinks will upset you, whatever her reasons it is your choice. I’m so sorry you lost you lost your son. I lost my girl tragically a year ago today. I had lots of bad advice from sometimes well meaning people, some with more selfish reasons. You are suffering enough, go anywhere that you like and I’m so glad you are getting counselling. Sending big hugs xxxx

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my oh my unfortunately people think because the strategy (in your mums case) staying away form the hospice or any connection is her way of coping doesn’t mean its best for everyone.
I feel she is trying to protect you and probably means well and the child in you believes its right to listen to your mums advise. But sometimes mother doesn’t know best. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings your thoughts to your mum on this issue.

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Unfortunately people suggest things that they feel are in your best interests but its only through concern for you.Its very hard to accept their advice and suggestions without feeling upset and a bit annoyed.The whole top and bottom of it is its your grief and you are handling it in your way and anything YOU want to do is whats best for you.I’ve been told having too many pictures around of my son and my hubby wont help me come to terms with my loss.I WANT to look at their pics everyday I know they are in my head but I still want to look at them everyday.If you want to go to the Hospice you go and grieve and mourn in anyway you want.My love to you xxxx