QHi
I’m 35 and I recently lost my mum on Thursday to an acute illness where we had then decide to withdraw treatment in the intensive care unit.
Strangely I work as specialist nurse in palliative care but I have never faced grief like this, It’s so different. I never got to say goodbye.
I have a huge fear of the great sadness that comes with the thought of the funeral and I am dreading this day also.
I feel like I wasn’t ready to let her go, it wasn’t time . Yet I am utter shock I just can’t believe this has happened and how I will carry on with a life without her?
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I’m so sorry your mummy has gone. I’m with my own mother now who will be goen in the next few days after a terminal illness diagnosis before Christmas. I work in adult mental health and feel a fraud as like you I’m devastated and all the knowledge and experience I have has gone out the window. I think as health professionals we feel that we should be better equipped or able to cope better than other people when the worst things happen to us.
My mother and I have lived together for the past 25 years and while watching her deteriorate has been horrendous and I have that hollow feeling in my chest and stomach that I assume is some form of sadness and grief, I am fearful of a future without her and what that will feel like and really I suppose if I am going to be able to go on without her. I was googling coping with grief and came across a school of life video that helps when I am able to put my professional head on for a few seconds. It talks about how the person who has died is still with us but in a different way. That thought is keeping me half sane at the moment. That as long as I don’t forget her and carry her memory with me she will always be with me. I am holding on to the hope that this will help me when she does die but only time will tell. I am sure it will help on some days and others I will have to find another way to bear her not being with me. Here is the video, it might help you too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgEZYKKZqRA
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Thanks so much for this.
God it’s so strange because I know your situation like my back hand , it’s what I do daily.
My mum was suffering with some depression and severe anxiety (too severe she couldn’t get help) had good and bad days but OCD.
I have this horrible thoughts of her being sad before she died, being scared. All the what ifs.
I totally understand and feel your pain with how you’re feeling waiting for the time to come. Something I say is that your mum brought you into this world and how precious it is for you to be able to see her leave it. I know how hard that it but your doing everyone you can. We will navigate it all in time
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Hi, i think working in pallative care you think you know what to expect but its different when it’s someone close. I work in social care so when mum fell and went into hospital i knew the outlook wasn’t good especially as mum was nearly 90. But being told being told there was nothing they could do was still unexpected and shocking.
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