I lost my mum nearly 3 weeks ago on Wednesday and at the minute it doesn’t feel real. I feel very lost,get grumpy at my poor husband and im struggling to sleep. The funeral is in 2 weeks and i dont want to have a complete breakdown then.
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Dear kid I am sorry to hear that you are suffering. My lovely wife had a lot of problems when her mother died she was so close to her but she wasn’t present when she died as we thought she was ok . They were going to change her to an other hospital the next day and we left her with my wife’s father to go to work. When we left she died and my wife took along time to forgive herself. We tried a couple of therapists and found one that helped. We also spent a lot of time talking about it together. The problem is that people around you don’t often understand how devastating losing someone is until it happens to them. Which is my case. When my wife died, her last breath was her calling her mother. I hope now she is happy in her arms.
I hope you find some solace here where everyone is at different stages of grief and everyone understands the pain of losing the person they love.
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom
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Hello Kid, I’m 53, have a partner, no children. I lived with my Mum all my life. Like Brandon’s wife, I was not with my Mum when she died. I was always with her. She was medically fit for discharge, so I was getting our home ready to bring Mum home that day. I then get the call that Mum had a cardiac arrest. I find that moment so difficult as I did not say goodbye and it was unexpected. My Mum died 9 months ago today. Everyone has their individual way to grieve. For me, I sobbed for the first few days and then went numb and surreal. I am like that still most days, but every so often I have a moment and reality hits. It is early days for you. I wanted the funeral to be a celebration of Mum’s life. In the church that Mum loved, I thought that I could not see Mum but I know she would be beside me as Mum would never leave me. This helped me. Try to take it a day at a time. I always slept well as I was so exhausted. I would suggest to keep an eye on your sleep, as this can affect mood. Perhaps speak with your GP if you find that you continue not to sleep. Take care and take it one day at a time.
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Thank you. I just feel so lost at the minute and i feel like i have died with her.
Its her funeral tomorrow and even though my hubby and my dad will be there i just feel so alone.
I knew that it was going to be painful, but i feel totally heartbroken and im not sure if i will ever feel the same way again. I know that she will be with me and i know what she would say.
I just would rather her be here to say it.
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Hi Kld
I hope your mums funeral went as she would have wanted and you felt some comfort and I’m sure she was there with you by your side.
I feel completely the same as you have described, I lost my mum last Wednesday and have felt so lost since. Waking up in the mornings I find is the hardest realising she’s gone and the dread that I will never get to see or speak to her again.
I agree I feel part of me died with her and struggling to see how can find any joy or point in things going forward
Hi Kim1690
Her funeral went really well thank you and I hope we gave her a good send off.
I wake up empty and feel that i have a big hole in my heart .
I know that it will get better,but it will take time. Im just going to take each at a time and hopefully the bad days will get less and less. She will always be with me in my heart! Xx
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