I lost my mum in September last year from lung cancer. I’m only 26 and looked after my mum alot through her cancer fight. I thought I was doing ok, until a few weeks ago, I cant stop thinking about her, thinking about what I could or should of said, did i say a proper goodbye? Should i of said more? I also struggle to think of memories, it’s almost like my brain has forgot the times she wasnt poorly and all I can think of is the times were she was.
I’ve never lost anyone before, my mum was my first and I’m just not too sure how your supposed to cope? Its nearly been a year now and I dont know, my question I guess is how to cope?
Thank you x
Oh Dorose, I can feel how uncertain you are but it is normal and even if it was a longer time since she had to leave you, grief comes back and bites us in the rear end, sorry but it does. There is no time limit or use/end date attached to grief, no laid down rules for it to follow, in fact it does it’s own thing like a naughty child. Please be proud of yourself for getting through the past months because they cannot have been easy. Both my father and mother had gone and I went on with life but when my soulmate had to go the world fell apart which just seemed all wrong. I had no idea what grief was actually like and no one talks about it, so when it hits you, you feel totally lost. You will learn to cope with your feelings, we all do but don’t expect it to disappear overnight. Your mum was very special to you and you looked after with all your love and compassion you had, please don’t think that you don’t do everything you could. All that time you looked after her was your goodbye time, not just the last few moments of her life here on earth. She would not wish you to feel that you didn’t do all you could for her, to make her has comfortable as you possibly could. I hope I have given you the hope that things will be ok for you. As a volunteer on here we try to tell you as it is but also to give you the knowledge to know that life will resume to normal or what can be classed as normal in these difficult times. We are always here for you and I know there are other posts from people who are going through the same upsetting circumstances. Don’t worry you are among friends. Take care. Blessings S xx