My mum

I lost my mum on the 10 March 2021 I’m absolutely devastated and I feel lost , I’m scared that I will forget her voice , my dad is coping to well , I feel like I haven’t properly cried for my mum

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SarahM76

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. You will never forget your mums voice, she is always there with you and your dad.

A little poem I want to share with you both:

If roses grow in Heaven, Lord pick a bunch for me
Place them in my mother’s arms and tell her they’re from me
Tell her I love her and miss her, and when she turns to smile
Place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while
Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday
But there’s an ache within my heart that will never go away.

God bless
Jay xx

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Thank you so much jay that is lovely x

Dear SarahM76,

I agree with Sad2, it is very unlikely that you would forget your mum’s voice.

Just a thought: d you have any voice messages from her on your phone, or is she on any family video clips? I have kept 2 messages from my parents that are on our answer phone and if I want to, I can listen to it, but even without that, their voices are forever in my memory.

Not everyone cries. My mum so wanted to cry when my dad died, but she couldn’t and yet everyone could see how devastated she was. There is no right or wrong way, so please don’t worry if you have cried ‘properly’, You may find that in moments when you least expect it, the tears will come.

Take care, and be kind to yourself.

Jo

Hi Sarah
I tragically lost my mum on 9th March. The pain is torture for me. My dad is not coping at all. He is slowly dying of a broken heart right in front of my eyes :broken_heart:
So sorry for your loss :sweat: take care of yourself, I’m trying to but it’s so hard. Big hugs x

What a beautiful poem :heart::disappointed:

Dear Claire68, A poem for you and your dear dad.

If I could have just one more day and wishes did come true
I’d spend every glorious moment side by side with you.
Recalling all the years we shared and memories we made
How grateful I would be to have just one more day.
Where the tears I’ve shed are not in vain and only fall in bliss
So many things I’d let you know about the days you’ve missed.
I wouldn’t have to make pretend you never went away
How grateful I would be to have just one more day.
When that day came to a close and the sun began to set
A million times I’d let you know I never will forget.
The heart of gold you left behind when you entered Heaven’s gate.
How grateful I would be to have just one more day.

Take care and stay strong.
Joan x

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Hi Claire

I’m so sorry for your loss big hugs , my dad seems to be coping to well and I’m scared he is going to crumble when no one is there , he was at ours for the weekend and we had a fab time but when he let today I was so upset and wanted him to stay , I know going to sound strange but I felt close to my mum when he was here , I hope your dad can talk to you all about how he is feeling , I’m here anytime if you want to chat , I feel sometimes when I talk about my mum at work it’s like oh be quiet we know , but all the girls at work still have their mums , bugs hugs and always here for a chat :butterfly::heart:

Thank you Joan :sparkling_heart:

Thank you Sarah, I’m not at work and don’t anticipate going back for quite a while. It’s early days for your dad, and you. I don’t feel close to my mum when I’m with my dad, I just miss her more. I’m dealing with my grief as well as his. The pain is the worst ever and not sure it will ever go away completely. My mum was my world, my best friend, I have a family, but my dad has no one, it was just him and mum every day they were together 60 years. I’m here too :heart: you and your dad sound a lot stronger than me and my dad. Take care and hugs to you xx

Claire I felt pressured into going back to work and I’m not coping as good as I should , and I work with the district nurses and it’s a wee bit close to home for me , I’m ready to fall apart I can feel it coming and I’m scared I won’t come back from it , my dad is hiding a lot and it’s not good for him , I hope we can both get through this together

Take care and remember here 24 hours if you need to talk xx

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Thank you so much Sarah, you’re so kind :heart: Yes I hope we get through this together, I’m here when you ‘fall apart’. Anytime Xx
I’m so sorry you were pressured into going back to work, it must be awful. I just wanna be with my dad. Take care Xx

I’m so sorry for your loss @SarahM76. I lost my mum 4 months ago and I’ve been so scared of forgetting her too: forgetting her voice, her face, her smell.

I saved some voicemails and video clips of her that I go back and listen to when i want to hear her voice but of course it hardly helps.

I felt like I went into quite a long period of denial as a way of protecting myself from the pain, which left me feeling more numb than upset for quite a while but it passed and I now find myself crying more for her, which is a relief, in some ways, although still really hard.

I hope you have other people you can lean on for support as time goes on.

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