Hi guys , firstly i wanted to say I’m really sorry for everyones losses here .
I lost my dear mother to a heart attack on the 27th of december 2023.
It was very sudden the 2scenes dont add up in my head . I was with her on tueasday night sitting with her on the sofa massaging her feet and i wake up wednesday morning and i find her dead. Is really upsetting for me I’m 32 i was my mums baby , i travelled so much with her , she was always there for me.she never gave up on me , i miss her so much, i don’t know how to be a mum to my girls right now i just want to be alone i want to be with my mum, i feel so lost i can’t think straight, i just want to stay in bed all day . I’ve lost the will to live I’m just getting by for my children. I’m so depressed. And i feel lonely in this world even though i have my families support and friends . Is not enough i just want my mum . The one who bought me in to this world has left . I’m out here on my own without her guidance and support . What do i do ? Where do i go? I feel like a fish out of the water . I cant beleive this is happening . I’m really uncomfortable. 
So sorry to read of your loss. Your feelings are ones loads of us on here understand sadly. The loss of a parent you hold so dearly is devastating and can rock your whole existence.
Your loss is not only shocking to you,it’s so early and raw, the feelings you have described sound all to familiar, of course you’re going to feel like “a fish out of water” nobody can prepare you for your grief, and it’s so overwhelming that even with support it’s still a struggle. My advice would be to keep reading on here, join some of the threads, there’s some lovely, genuinely caring and understanding people on here. Post as often as you feel the need to and be kind and patient with yourself.x
I’ve just joined. I lost my mum on 15th January. Your feelings are exactly how I feel. Fish out of water! You couldn’t have put it better. I feel like I’m suffocating, and very much alone. I’m 60 and my children are all grown up and most of them don’t live close. It’s hard sharing my grief with them, they have their own lives. I do have a daughter whose lives quite close but she’s not really very helpful. Your alone without your mum is how I feel. Thinking of you. X
You’ve just reminded me of something….the first night I went to sleep after my mum died I actually felt like somebody put something over my nose and mouth making me feel like I was actually suffocating……I remember trying to breath,but couldn’t for an instant!
I’m sorry for your loss, you are not alone on here.x sending you hugs
I’m so sorry for your loss 
thank you for your message i empathise with you x
I have everyone checking up on me but i just want to be left alone , i just feel like no one understands even though my siblings are going through the same thing im crying like a baby everyday 
Thank you OMG thats so horrible the first night is always the worst i didnt sleep at all when it happened for a few days ever since I’ve been so disturbed waking up in the night upset thinking of her x
Thank you Sun.
I don’t really know what do to with myself either. Unlike the other lady I’m am very much alone. However wouldn’t be much company at the moment, Glad I joined here. Thank you for sharing how you felt with me xx sending a big hug, so sorry for your loss too. Xx