My Nan

Losing a grandparent
1

Hi, I lost my nan on the 7th of April. I feel like I’ve lost my whole world. She was my advisor, protector and my whole life. She took me on when I was just turned 13 and I think of her as a mum. When I had my daughter at 20 she then took me back in again after a failed relationship and helped me raise my little baby girl and loved us both unconditionally. When I finally got back on my own path and moved out I still saw her almost everyday and called her morning and evening. My little girl is 4 years old now and I can’t control my sadness. My nan really meant everything to me and I feel like life will never be the same. I find myself wanting to ring her, chat, ask her questions and just longing to see her. I wasn’t very prepared for this. She had an 8 week diagnosis of stomach cancer, she was told it was terminal however she was about to start chemo when she went into hospital in pain, it turned out she had a hole in her stomach. I was sat with her in hospital and we were chatting as normal and just like that she changed as she went into complete agony from inflammation from the hole. She didn’t even know who I was. I went to see her after she died and to see her like that also created a whole new area of sadness I’ve never known. I feel so empty without her and feel that I fear I won’t make her proud up there in heaven as I can’t cope without her. Does this feeling ever go away. Will I one day come to terms with the fact she is forever gone. I just want someone to talk to☹️

2

Hello @mercedes,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling empty inside. I’m so sorry to hear about your nan. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex

3

Hi Mercedes, I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sending so much love to you and your little girl! I know you don’t want to hear this (because I certainly don’t) but time does help with your healing. I’ve lost three grandparents now, my Nan as recently as January, and time helps - it never takes away that grief, but you learn to grow with it and around it. Try and think of the amazing things your Nan taught you that can you pass onto your little one, as a way to keep your lovely Nan’s legacy alive. I also went to see my Nan after she passed, so I understand that it introduces even more unfamiliar feelings. You can absolutely do this. Give yourself time to heal, and please take care.

4

hi I am really sorry for your loss of your Nan, sounded like a real shock for you to lose her like that.
My Nan passed away last week and she was my support- I was very close to her and lived with her for many years.
I suppose we have to take it a day at a time. … Hope you have other friends family that will support you x