I lost my nan a few weeks ago I feel so lost. I know it’s not a bereavement like a parent or a spouse but I have hardly any family now so it’s left a really big hole even though she was very elderly and I couldn’t really have asked for longer. At Christmas it was just the three of us mum, nana and me (I lost my dad 10 years ago), and I had finally gotten over my dads death and enjoyed it just being the three of us all the time, it’s all I needed. My mum was caring for my nan and living with her and I lived on my own but now my mum has moved in with me but I feel SO much more lonelier than before even though I now have company at home. It was so perfect before my mum living with my nan keeping her company and me living on my own I didn’t feel lonely but now I do.
There are some positives like we got to spend one last Christmas together (I was there a lot over Christmas) because I worried she wouldn’t make it to that, although she definitely wasn’t herself some of the time because her dementia had suddenly got worse. She also stayed at home til the end which was her wish if possible but I think really the last few days we needed more help than we got, my mum had said no to carers as she was managing (just) but really think we needed them towards the end. I also don’t have the worry of getting that phone call anymore. I’m crying a lot now, the first few weeks I just felt sick and now I’m just crying, I didn’t appreciate how good I had it.