When I was 11 I was with my Nan alone in our house because my mother had ran off with her partner and chose drugs for 8 years that’s why I lived with my Nan and dad and my 2other siblings.The week my Nan past away she was really poorly she could not do any daily tasks one day I decided to have the day of school and I went up stairs on my sisters Xbox and I heard something bang in the floor and I thought it was a plate that had smashed on the floor because I thought she was cleaning up about 30 minutes later I went downstairs to see what it was and to see if she was okay and I walked downstairs and I saw her lying on the floor and I called my dad he didn’t answer called my auntie she dint answer so then I called my dad again and he answered I said it’s Nan she’s not answering me she’s fell over and then he called the ambulance that day broke my heart I didn’t know what to do with myself I saw her body being brought out the house in a body bad a couple weeks after I saw her in her coffin the day before her funeral the day of her funeral I had to give a speech and after that I dint know how to cope so I started to harm myself
@lola34 you have been through a trauma, please be kind to yourself. You need time to process, digest and start the grieving. Just take each day at a time, that’s what I’m doing, 10 weeks into losing my beloved husband. I find by just going with the flow is best, if it’s a bad day, it’s a bad day and nothing to be ashamed about.
You’re amongst a community who absolutely gets you @lola34, hope you find it helpful. I do, and it’s comforting to know we are all dealing with feelings of grief that are insurmountable. Sending hugs and positive vibes.