I lost the love of my life 6 years ago, he died of cancer after a very short illness, we found out that he had cancer in the August of 2014 and on the 8th of December we said goodbye, I managed to hold everything together and help our three young children through by getting them counseling etc but as the years have gone by I find I am struggling more and more, the slightest memory of him breaks my heart over and over and I miss him as much now as I did the day he died
That must have been so hard for you, to lose your husband to cancer and to be on your own with three young children. It sounds like you put your own grief to one side to pit your children’s needs first. Bringing them up must have kept you very busy. Maybe now that they are older you are finding yourself with more time to think and your own grief is coming (back) to the surface.
As mothers we can so easily forget that we have needs too. Have you considered getting some counseling for yourself? You can sign up for free bereavement counseling though this site. I think it could help you to talk with someone who will be there just for you in your grief journey.