my partner got diagnosed in June and since I m living in fear, denial and still shock. living with unknown and waiting for the result of CT Scan every 8 weeks to see if there is any new tumour or either are the pills still working, the cancer spreads to bone, brain, liver and his back…I cant believe now Im typing here and confirming that , The radiotherapy shrinks the tumours and the immune therapy are working at the moment , Dr said no Cure and these treatment are only for controlling …that means terminal ! He is 43 and now look 30 years older within 3 months only, harder than the fact, Its hard to see him in pain and living with the side effects of the medication, fatigue and me ,
Hello Scorpion,
Welcome to this community. I am so incredibly sorry to hear that your partner was diagnosed in June and the doctor has told you that there is no cure. This must be extremely difficult for you both. Are you feeling supported by your partner’s medical team?
There are others in this community who have experienced something similar and will understand what you’re going through. Whilst you wait for some supportive replies you might find it helpful to have a look at our advice pages. We have a number of articles about coping with terminal illness, both in terms of the practical side of things and finding support.
Keep talking to us for as long as it helps and get in touch with me if there’s anything I can do to support you.
Take care of yourself,
Eleanor
Yes, but living with this unknown …its very hard, hard to see him in pain and see him suffering.
Hello Scorpion,
My husband had bowel cancer that metastasized into his lungs. He had the illness for 4 years, with a year after treatment when we thought he was cured. When the cancer came back, we were told his condition was terminal, and was given palliative care. I looked after him at home until a week before he died, at which point he was admitted to a hospice. I know that this situation is very hard to live with. My life became an almost endless round of medical appointments, and it was very difficult to see him in pain and his quality of life diminishing. I found that the best thing to do was to take one day at a time, and as it came. We had counselling at the hospice for about a year before he died, and it really helped us to talk about our hopes and fears - we were able to leave nothing unsaid. Is there a Maggie’s Centre near you? They are warm and welcoming places where you can go along for support and advice, or just to have breakfast? Have you had contact with your local Macmillan nurse? They will come to your house on a regular basis to offer support, and help you source things that you may need to make life more comfortable for your partner. Also, they have someone working alongside them who will look after you as your partner’s carer, and can advise you on any benefits or local authority grants you may be eligible for. And if you can just get out on your own or with a friend for a few hours a week, you will feel the benefit - have a coffee, a pub lunch, anything to give you a short break. My neighbour used to come and sit with my husband for an afternoon a week, so that I could have a manicure, have my hair done, or go to a book club. I know of the difficulties you are going through, the hope and heartbreak of every scan and examination. I am here for you, and I know you will get through it, just as I did. Take care and keep posting, Tulabelle x