My dear partner Alex passed away 25th December. She was diagnosed with an aggressive gall bladder cancer that had spread to her liver in April. She’d been poorly ever since especially after chemo. She’d had four out of six, was taking a break and was due to start again in January. Sadly in early December she really deteriorated, I got her back into hospital but there was nothing they could do as the cancer came back at her and her organs were failing. It was heartbreaking to see her fade away. 4 days later I feel hollow and numb and I don’t quite know what to do with myself, she is everywhere in the house, all her clothes are here. I currently can’t see me getting out of the hole in in
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Loosing a partner is hard.Just remember we are here for you.
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
All you can do right now is be extremely kind to yourself and if you want to shut the world out then do so.
Accept help from any quarter that offers it and do what you want to do. Cry, shout, scream, feel the anger because all those feelings are part of the process. All of us on here have felt and still feel the pain so keep posting on here as it will help you.
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Jay, you are still totally in shock and completely overwhelmed with loss, pain and the unknown of the path ahead. All you have to do at the moment is get through the day. If you can get up, get dressed and eat something, you have succeeded in that day. I won’t sugar coat the year ahead. It is going to be tough, it is going to be hard and most of all, I have learned time is the only thing that lessons the pain. Grief is not linear - you will have calm times and times of despair ahead. However, it does get easier and you will slowly get out of that hole. In the early days, I found it helpful to say to myself ‘the worst has happened. I don’t ever have to face that day again. I just need to keep going.’
Be kind to yourself, Jay.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
My husband died on 23 September 2024 and I miss him dreadfully. Please look after yourself as best you can
Kate
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I am so sorry for your loss , to loss anybody at any time is hard , but at Christmas it always seems harder . You are in shock right now, I felt just the same as you 3 months ago after the sudden death of my husband . I still haven’t sorted all his clothes and belongings out . I will do it when I am ready . Keep posting on here it really does help ,knowing others
are going through the same thing . Get though as best as you can
Take care of yourself
I can really feel your pain and can relate to it completely.
There are stages of grief and we have to go through them, sometimes over and over.
Don’t fight your feelings and emotions but accept them.
You are in my thoughts and prayers xx
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Oh this is so tragic. All these experiences are just so heartbreaking. My wife succumbed to cancer in October. The only thing I cleared out of the bedroom was all the medications, the chemo pills, the anti sickness pills, , the antidepressants, the morphine, the constipation liquids etc, boxes and boxes of repeat prescriptions that no longer worked, a reminder of the grim lottery this disease is, why some get it and others do not. It will be a long time but I will not discard any items of my wife’s. possessions. They remind me of her but also remind me of what I’ve lost
Yeah same here. I chucked out all the medication, buscopan, anti sickness, antibiotics, cancer books, doctor notes. Everything. Controlled medicines I’ll take back to the pharmacy
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I’m so sorry for your loss 
God bless xx🫂
I am so, so very sorry. Be gentle with yourself 
How terrible for you . It’s a complete shock to lose our partners . Just facing each day is a challenge at first . It took me three months to start and calm down . Don’t put pressure on yourself. Just take each hour as it comes. People are lovely on here . Reach out anytime
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Thank you so much for these kind words. Everyone on here is so supportive. It really does help to know you can reach out at any time and someone will care and understand because they know what you are going through.
Here goes another day of being in this horrible club together…
It also took me 3 months before I started to feel a bit better
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I’m so sorry Jay. In contrast to you, we had over 2 years of anticipatory grief knowing that my husband’s very rare cancer was aggressive and incurable, and it’s been 4 months now since he died. I don’t know where that profile puts me on the grief journey, but I have started putting together a new life for myself. However, as my lane here in the Peak District is sheet ice, I have not been able to get out to something that I was expecting to attend with friends in Manchester today, and it’s cast me down more than usual . It’s perhaps a bit too early for you yet, but I have recently been comforting myself that my husband is not having to go through what I’m struggling with. Aware of the inevitable outcome of his situation, he said that he thought he had the ‘better’ deal out of our very sad situation – being the one to die rather than have to live on alone. And last week, a man told me of a similar discussion with my husband who said that he thought that I was stronger in the ways needed to live on alone than he was. I don’t feel it, but I’m glad that he was spared this. At the Manchester Cancer Hospital, they said that the loss is not just the person you loved but also your reference point. Yes, we’re unanchored, empty, aching, tearful, sensitive, lost – the list could go on and on. Be assured that others on this site understand you.
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