My patience is running out

Iv just got through the one year anniversary of loosing my husband I don’t know how I did it but I did.
My husband didn’t have much of a relationship with his mum and his brother ( who’s older) and he had his reasons infact he didn’t speak to his brother , his mum he tolerated in small doses.
His brother came to the house on his scooter and said Iv come to take you out on this again , last time I found it heartbreaking as I had only ever gone on the back of a lambretta with Rob . I told his brother this but he said the only way to get over it is by getting back on the scooter but I couldn’t get through to him I don’t want to get over it that was something that Rob and I did and it’s not something I want to do with anyone else ,I just can’t get him to understand what I’m trying to say .
My worry now is Iv been diplomatic but my patience is running out and I fear he will get the same reception he would get if Rob was still around which is far from diplomatic .
Am I making myself clear .
I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with this .
Thank you for reading and take care

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@Kazzer hi Kazzer I don’t understand people like that what is wrong with them what we are going through is not something you just get over our lives have changed forever I would try telling him you just can’t do it as it hurts too much as it was something you did with Rob and is special to you and Rob and you just aren’t ready to do that right now I do hope he understands and doesn’t try to pressure you don’t do anything you are not ready to do if that doesn’t work then you might have to be less diplomatic I hope it works out take care x


@Kazzer some people just don’t get it, and Rob’s brother sounds like one of them.
I would suggest writing a letter to him, telling him you will not, under any circumstances, be going on a scooter again and could he refrain from asking. I say a letter as it is less likely to be ignored than electronic communication. I assume he will ignore it anyway, so next time he asks, just use whatever words you see fit to use.


Hi this story is very familiar after my husband died his brother tried to help me an my 2 young children he had a big mororbike his was a good for me and the boys .I moved a long way away and I didn’t see him for 6 years my boys liked him in their life so met again .after time I began to enjoy his company and after taking a chance we were togeather for 24 years and found happiness again by just taking a chance would a ride be so maybe uour

Hi I had the same thing when my husband died and left me with 2 small children his brother tried to help me and was good with the children and helped me I felt guilty spending time with someone else and backed away but my kids really liked him which let to us getting togeather and having 24 wonderful years would it be so bad to have a short bike ride .maybe your husband sent him to you

Love boxer dogs 1952 I can honestly say with hand on my heart Rob definitely didn’t send him to me I know that I’m 1000% sure . Robs brother has a wife and if he wants someone to go riding with he should take her . I understand he was trying to help and I did go out on the bike for a ride but it just wasn’t the same and it felt so so wrong , knowing the relationship Rob and his brother had I felt so guilty and disrespectful to Rob.
I hate to say it but Robs brother isn’t a very nice person he’s very opinionated .
Needless to say he hasn’t been round since the last time so I can only assume I made my point .
Take care xxx