My Second Christmas without my husband

I am finding this Christmas more difficult than my first Christmas without my husband. I think it is because the first year I was in shock and disbelief, but the second year is reality.
My daughters wanted to come and decorate the Christmas tree for me but I could not be persuaded by them. I was frightened that I could not cope with all the memories of how we decorated the tree together. A week later I got the tree out of the loft and spent three hours decorating it, but no real emotion either way. I am just trying to get into the Christmas spirit but cry every night because I want him here to share Christmas with. We all just have to keep travelling through this grieve until we get some happiness in our lives, but it is so hard.


Hello @Lyn2507 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi @Lyn2507,

Come January it will be two years since my gorgeous wife Christine died. I too have found the second year to be far far worse than the first.

The Christmas and the New Year period is just a ghastly time for me as they encompass several anniversaries. I have decided to have noting to do with it as it’s all just way too painful.

Folks on this forum understand what you are going through and can offer support. I have found it to be very helpful indeed and would encourage you to talk here.

Yes it is hard. Unfathomably hard.

Best wishes to you.


this is my second xmas and tbh its not making much difference, its just another day. we have never done families at xmas ever, we always said if they cant be bothered during the yr forget it at xmas. we always did it on our own, doing what we wanted to do. as for new yr, never bothered with it, never understood all the hype